Woodworking Plans for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMLXXXIV

well-designed bread box detail

Starting at about the time of Google's Panda II update, contributors" to eHow.com began being required to cite references for their (alleged) how-to instructions. Since some of them did nothing but perform an MSU¹ job for plans, they often had to scramble for something that at least looked like they'd read it. The more cunning ones just pretended to have found plans or instructions in some offline reference, but some just forged ahead and pumped out their crap, relying on eHow.com's "content editors" to be just as unfamiliar with the tasks as they were. Brandon Salo apparently fell in the second group, at least according to his Hunker.com post that allegedly gave people "Do-it-Yourself Plans for a Wooden Breadbox." Hint: it didn't...

For whatever reason, Leaf Group's porting process between eHow and their niche did not include the "Things You'll Need" section (although they did shoehorn in a link to the "video of the day"); but we found it by looking at the original with the Wayback machine at archive.org. Brandon wanted people to use "oak boards" that were mostly ½" thick, though for some reason the sides were supposed to be ¾" thick – no mention of whether he meant actual or nominal dimensions. Where the average beginning woodworker finds ½- and ¼-inch oak stock is a mystery to us...

...as was his bizarre set of "plans." Suffice it to say that Salo wanted his readers to cut the sides at an angle and then slap on a top, back and bottom; all the while referring only to the "boards" by one of the dimensions; e.g.,

"Set your breadbox so it lies flat on the 9-inch wide board."

We aren't certain, 'cause Brandon never actually says so, but that "board" seems to be the back. Similarly, the "1/2 x 9 1/2 x 20 inch board" appears to be intended to be a lid. He has lots of instructions for using "wood screws, 2-inch," including countersinking them ¼" into half-inch stock. Very long screws for such lightweight construction, not to mention that countersinking half the thickness of the stock seems... unwise.

While Brandon somehow managed to get the dimensions right – 18½ + ¾ + ¾ does work out to 20 – he did a pretty sloppy job otherwise. His biggest mistake is that he didn't specify beveling the front edge of the bottom and the top to match the diagonal cuts made on the sides, which would leave a noticeable gap between the lid and the sides. One of his plans actually said this:

"When cutting the top to shape, the front length should be cut at a 80 degree angle. This is to ensure that the bread box door rests against the top evenly, rather than on a very thin edge."

What's most interesting to us, however, is that Salo included links to a pair of woodworker's plans for a breadbox... but neither of them bears much resemblance to what he pounded out. The professional (or at least advanced amateur) plans include features such as dadoes, dowel hinges, and a handle that our Dumbass of the Day neglected to mention; as well as assembly instructions that include rabbets, dadoes, glue, and brad nails instead of "wood screws, 2-inch." Then again, it's a safe bet Salo had never performed this kind of woodworking before... and probably hasn't since.

¹ MSU: Making Shit Up.

DDIY - WOODWORKING