Bed Post Repair by Dummies - The Freelance Files MMLXXXIII

Split Bedpost

We have a couple of staffers who routinely build their own furniture. We're not talking fancy-schmancy stuff; mostly bookcases and the occasional table ("occasional table," get it?) That's probably why they aren't particularly forgiving when they run across some clueless freelancer attempting to explain woodworking, especially when it comes to working with furniture. The level of peeve just rises when said freelancer pretends to have gotten their "how-to" information from a source that didn't even address the task in question. With that in mind. here's their response to "How to Fix a Broken Bed Post," a post by Jean Asta at eHow.com (now living at SFGate.com).

Asta claimed to have used an online article by "the Chair Doctor" as the source for her "instructions," but we looked at the guy's website and it's all about his work on... chairs. No mention of either the word "bed" or "post" at all. Well, we suppose an experienced woodworker could still harvest the necessary information, but Jean? Naaaahhhh: this is the newbie who "tipped" her readers to,

"Wear protective goggles when using a sand gun."

Wait, she didn't say anything about sandblasting, did she? (Rereads post: no). No, even though the good doctor's very first step was "Examination, diagnosis (and prognosis!)"; Asta went straight to,

"Sand both the broken ends of the bedpost to allow for an easier, cleaner fix."

We aren't even sure that that means; though we guess it might refer to a turned bedpost that broke across one of its thinner spots. Of course, if that's the case, WTF would this comment mean:

"Measure the repaired bedpost against the intact bedposts. If the bedpost is shorter, cut a small piece of wood into the exact length needed. Glue the wood onto the bottom of the bedpost"?

We're at a loss as to how a bedpost would break in such a manner as to become shorter... while still leaving two nice ends that can be sanded smooth. And, of course, Jean finishes with the anodyne,

"Apply a stain or finish to blend the repaired section of the bedpost with the other sections..."

...which makes no sense if you're joining the ends of a clean break. Just sayin', as the kids say.

Naturally, Asta had nothing to say about repairing a vertical split in the wood (see image above) or, as in a case one of our staffers needed to address, how to fix a bedpost after a dog had chewed off the newel... Then again, it's for darned sure Jean had never given a moment's thought to this task before "claiming" it at eHow back in 2013.

No, our Dumbass of the Day never mentioned drilling out the two pieces and doweling them together, never mentioned any of many other furniture repair tricks; just "sand and glue." It's a shame she didn't read through the chair doc's page before dumping out this bushwa, especially given that she seemed to think that, "Homeowners choose furniture carefully."

IOHO this "repair" certainly wasn't careful, and that's why Jean just picked up award number five.

DDIY - FURNITURE