Job Specs for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCV

Island cabinet

It's a holiday weekend, so we're gonna keep this one short and... well, according to some people, we're never "sweet." We think the people we call dumbasses deserve the name, mostly because they were so greedy that they lied about their "knowledge"; but some of our more delicate readers think that's mean. Tough. God forbid these people do the same thing on their resumés!  Anyway, today's nominee is Deb M., who went looking for some handyman work by asking her her local Nextdoor.com "community" for recommendations. One of the staffers lives nearby and was flabbergasted by her request for help with a "Counter Top."

We'll let Deb speak for herself. Here's the entire text of her original request (name redacted):

"Counter Top. I’m looking for someone who can cut down our island countertop and piece it into our regular countertop (where the connection is now) so our island cabinet that we added will be covered.  It’s all the same material, just needs the tools and the knowledge, I hope 😳.  TIA"

We've looked at this a lot of times in the month or so since she posted it, and we still have no friggin' idea what she wants. What we think she's talking about is turning her island into a peninsula, but that doesn't make a heckuva lot of sense. We picked a staff handyperson at random and asked her what she needed to know before taking on a job like this. She said that the first thing she needed to know was WTF they wanted, since that post makes no sense. The second thing she'd need to know was what the material is, 'cause she thinks it's impossible with real or manufactured stone ("granite," "marble," or "quartz"). Deb's husband, Wayne M., came online a couple of weeks later and "clarified" what she'd asked. We put the word in quotes 'cause here's what he said:

"Looking for someone who is qualified to cut down an island counter top (all straight cuts) and fit into existing counter top. Someone looking for a job on the side..."

Frankly, it still doesn't make any sense. So, Wayne and Deb, here are some suggestions:

1. Send pictures, because it's just possible that you don't know what an island counter is.
2. Tell people what the countertop material is.
3. Ask someone who knows what he or she is doing to describe what you want!

Anything else, and you're just going to look more like a Dumbass of the Day every time you ask.

SE - CABINETS