Water Supply Lines for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXX

compression fittings

The website formerly known as eHow.com was infamous for forcing its contributors to adhere to a strict "house style." One of the format requirements was that every post must begin with an introduction, of 75 to 100 words. Given that many of the people were writing instructions for tasks they'd never themselves heard of, much less carried out, a lot of those introductions were... well, they were hilarious. A case in point is Christopher John, who attempted to explain to HomeSteady.com readers "How to Replace Kitchen Faucet Water Lines That Don't Reach."

The staffers who've actually dealt with "kitchen water lines" all agreed: it's a no-brainer that the OQ had bought a new faucet only to learn that the stubs that connect to the supply lines weren't as long as the originals. Duh: go out and buy replacements that are long enough, dummy! But John, who we strongly suspect had never encountered the situation because he'd never installed a new faucet, dreamt up a different reason:

"If the water lines that supply your kitchen faucet are too short, the water flow will be hindered and the lines will likely leak underneath the sink."

Be "hindered"? "likely leak"? What an idjit. 

Of course, Christopher trotted out the handy eHow toolbox and told his readers to disconnect the lines, by which he meant to,

"Use an adjustable wrench."

Why no eHowian ever owned (or conceived of) a set of open-end wrenches is beyond us. But what's even more interesting is that John, due to an obvious lack of experience, told his readers that the way to install the replacement supply lines should be to, "Wrap plumber's tape around the nipples on both the hot and cold water shut-off valves... Connect the replacement supply lines to the shut-off valves, tightening the nuts with an adjustable wrench. Connect the other end of the supply lines to the corresponding hot or cold water inlets underneath the faucet." Chris, Chris, Chris: many (although not all) shutoff valves for household fixtures have compression fittings instead of a threaded nipple. You do not wrap those with teflon tape. Even more interesting, you do wrap the threads on the (new) faucet with tape, something John neglected to mention.

Such are the wages of ignorance: half of the people who read his crap are gonna be pretty peeved when they learn that our Dumbass of the Day had no idea what he was talking about... BA degree in journalism or not.

DDIY - PLUMBING