Granite vs. Marble for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXXII

granite sample

Not long ago we wandered across a content farm called DifferenceBetween.net¹ wherein people who knew next to nothing told the world their half-baked theories about how two nouns (or verbs) differ. When it comes to "half-baked" theories, today's nominee definitely takes the cake. Let's give a not-so-warm welcome to some putz who called himself lancepenpal as we read through his 2009 opus, "Difference Between Granite and Marble."

Pretty much all you need to know about Lance's qualifications for this "answer" are summed up in his opinion that,

"...they are as different from one another as chalk from cheese is."

Lance's somewhat tenuous grasp of English-language grammar notwithstanding, that's a rather bizarre comparison, given that some marble is metamorphosed chalk, while no granite is even remotely related to cheese. Ha, ha, we made a funny.

But seriously, folks, Lance was the guy who headed straight to his neighborhood home store to regale us with differences between "granite" and "marble" countertops (or, as Lance might have called them, "kitchen platforms" (we hazard a guess that the terminology is BritEng). Regardless, however, of whether our guy was writing about countertops or different species of rock, he was – to be blunt – utterly ignorant of the topic. Try some of his bullshit on for size:

• "Granite and marble are stones that need to be quarried from deep within the Earth’s crust..." – No, Lance, quarries are at the surface.
• "Granite is found deep within the mantle of the Earth at temperatures that are above normal." – In fact, Lance, granite is unknown in the mantle, which is believed to be mainly eclogite.
• "Granites are of different kinds such as quarts [sic], feldspar and mica. " – First, you putz, it's quartz; and second, those are the most common minerals in granite, not the "kinds."
• "There are two kinds of granite stones available, which are flamed granite and honed granite." – We had no friggin' idea, so we looked it up. You can do the same...
• "Now, the marble consists of different kinds such as limestone, travertine and onyx." – Even hardware stores don't try to claim that limestone is marble...

"Marble begins as sediment, which could be animal, shell or plant matter. It turns into silt and settles at the bottom of the water body." – No, plants do not comprise any of the "sediment" that becomes marble, nor does silt have jack to do with it. You've apparently conflated carbonates with clastic sedimentary rocks. "After millions of years of solidification it turns into stone." – A) what is the "solidification" of which you speak, and B) didn't you forget the metamorphism step? "Marble is easily stainable since its main component is calcium." – First off, the main component of (true) marble is calcium carbonate, and second, WTF would that have to do with staining? "To sum up, granite and marble are both natural stones." – Hey! this jackass got something right!

When push, however, comes to shove; it's obvious that lancepenpal had no idea what he was writing about. It makes no difference whether the boy was writing about petrology or finished stone for kitchen counters, his factoids were largely bogus. That's why he's the second from DifferenceBetween to climb the podium for a Dumbass of the Day award. Once more, we rather suspect he won't be the last.

¹ You can read our first post about this website here.

SI - PETROLOGY