Deck Maintenance for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXXXIX

checking of wooden post

Random misuse and other mangling of terminology in freelancer posts is usually a sign of one of two things: either the content has been spun from something accurate (or, sometimes, something else inaccurate), or the person who typed out the words was unaware of the error. Word salad like that s a common criterion for DotD nomination, especially when accompanied by a bio that lacks any evidence of expertise. Today's nominee, Jessica Kolifrath, tried tackling the question of "Safe Ways to Shore Up a Deck," but neither her AA in psych nor her comprehension of the problem suggested her work would be useful.

Kolifrath opened by explaining that,

"Decks with sagging boards, splintering or cracking support posts and loose concrete footings all require immediate attention and repair."

While decks in poor repair certainly present a safety hazard that merits prompt attention, the notion that "support posts" will splinter or crack is a new one on us. Splintering of wood typically requires impact, and "cracking" is so non-specific as to be useless (Jessica was very likely unfamiliar with the concept of checking in lumber). Where Jessica blew that statement is in failing to mention rotting, a far more common and arguably more serious problem in deck supports (as mentioned in her reference). Tsk, tsk.

Moving on, Kolifrath decided that proper attachment of the ledger to the house frame is a form of shoring up a deck:

"Decks attached to the exterior of your home with nails, no matter how long they are, will slowly pull away from the wall..."

...which is true, but correction of that particular problem isn't "shoring up a deck." Critical safety standard, yes, shoring up a deck, no. And as for Kolifrath's admonition that,

"Other weight-bearing parts of the structure, such as the joists and support posts, should be augmented with bolts if they begin to detach from the deck."

WTF does "detach from the deck" even mean in that context? And last, but certainly not least, Jessica warned her readers that,

"Rotting and splintering deck joists can cause serious injury to a guest if a section of the deck suddenly drops out from below them."

But not to a family member, we guess... and there's Jessica's "splintering" bushwa again; a word not present in the reference she cited. For that matter, the "advice" she claims was in her reference also wasn't there. Her description of sistering a joist is amusing, ending as it does with the words,

"The same lumber should be used for the splint that was used for the original joist."

We guess she mans the same dimensions but who knows with some of these people. After all, that's why they. like Jessica, earn themselves the singular honor of a Dumbass of the Day award.

DDIY - DECKS