How Dummies Install Sliding Door Locks - The Freelance Files MMCXCIII

sliding door lock

Maybe it's just us (we hope not), but here at the Antisocial Network we think that when you hire someone to fix something that's broken or redo a substandard workman's job, you should expect the updated job to be an improvement. Let's say your deck is leaning because the original builder did a lousy job of building the supporting structure. If you hire someone to fix it, you expect the results to be strong and sturdy. In the case of  "How to Install a Key Lock on a Sliding Glass Door," the job Michelle Miley performed would, sadly, not meet those expectations.

Leaf Group asked Miley, whose work is "sprinkled throughout... home decor and improvement favorites," to rewrite some dreck originally penned by English BA grad turned restaurant manager Alec Preble back in 2011. Yeah, it took them a decade to realize his work was worthless; a fact we realized in 2016. Michelle took Alec's work in hand and... well, she didn't exactly run with it.

It didn't take much reading of Preble's version to realize that Alec had attempted to repurpose instructions for installing a cylinder lock on a hinged interior or exterior door; in the process reducing the process of installing the lock to one step:

"Drill the hole out until the lock fits inside. Drill out any holes necessary for the lock-securing screws in the same way. Secure the lock with mounting screws."

Miley, as befits a business grad turned prolific freelancer (who lacked experience with the task at hand), seems to have made the foolish assumption that Preble's work was valid (it wasn't). Consequently, Michelle rattled off boilerplate about building codes and OEM locks before doing little more than rewording what Alec had written and adding a few words to meet some new minimum word count:

"Drill two small holes in your latch where your screws will go and then make a larger hole for the cylinder... Place the door cylinder in your latch or handle and then reinstall it. Next, install the latch plate, again making sure all of your new parts are aligning properly."

Wait, what? That's all she wrote? Drill some holes and make certain the parts are "aligning properly"? We'll be honest, cylinder locks in sliding glass doors are a fiddly mess; one we'd want a lot of help installing. But Michelle reduced the tasks of boring holes in the door frame and handles and fitting the halves of a lock mechanism into the door and the (metal) frame to a mere fifty words. That dog don't hunt.

Remember our sagging deck from the introduction? Miley's work did little more than add a coat of paint to what was already a half-assed job as performed by Preble. As a consequence, the Dumbass of the Day award for this topic hereby passes from Alec to Michelle. Feh.

DDIY - DOORS