Maps, Grids, and Coordinates, the Dummy Version

Reading map grid coordinates

One of the Antisocial Network founders worked for many years making maps. By his count, he's probably pumped out several hundred thousand (maybe a million!) big sheets of paper and/or digital representations of the earth, both its surface and subsurface features. Along the way he learned quite a bit about map projections and coordinate systems. To be blunt, he says he forgets a helluva lot more about those subjects in a single day than Sciencing.com's Tasos Vossos ever knew. Should you need any proof of Vossos' unfamiliarity with the topic, look no further than "How to Convert Map Grid Coordinates to Latitude and Longitude"

Reverse Gables for Dummies

reverse gable dormer roof

As the Antisocial Network research staffers wander the internet looking at the stupid things freelancers say for money, they come upon many an instance in which it's hard to tell whether these writers botch information because they're ignorant or because they're lousy writers. In the case of Tyler Lacoma, the guy claims to be a professional writer, so his misinformation in eHow.com's "What Is a Reverse Gable Roof?" (since moved to Hunker.com)¹ must be a result of his ignorance. Right?

Lacoma, who's here for the second time, blows his answer by the eleventh word in his introduction (75 to 100 words, mandated by eHow's style guide):

Gas Appliances for Dummies

Where's your "return" line, Kurt?

It's not unusual for our researchers to run across a stupid question while wandering the pages of eHow or some other niche site published by Leaf Group (the former DMS, or Demand Media Studios¹). We all know it's possible to answer a stupid question without being condescending or, worse, stupid yourself. Apparently Kurt Schanaman isn't so good at answering stupid questions, though, as he amply demonstrated while explaining "How to Tell an Electric Dryer from a Gas Dryer" for the mother lode of misinformation, eHow.com (and since moved to HomeSteady.com, and then deleted²).

Mars vs. Earth for Dummies

Mars-Earth comparison

A lot of our staffers here at the Antisocial Network are, to be honest, nerds. Not the kind who call themselves "software engineers" because programmer sounds too simple. No, they're scientists. And although the current presidential administration seems hellbent on making certain that the citizenry is kept ignorant of scientific principles, they're not gonna give in. That's why we keep harping on scientific literacy, and keep shaming freelancers faking their way to a small fee. People like self-described "business writer" Eric Bank, who claims a B. S. in biology but sure wasn't using any of it when he wrote "How Big Is Mars Compared to Earth?"¹ for eHow.

Opening Wine Bottles for Dummies

Cutting the capsule on a wine bottle

Perhaps the most common reason for the freelance dumbassery that our staffers run across is the writers' failure to understand a question they're supposed to be answering. Although we can understand unfamiliarity with high-energy physics (though without knowledge, why would you write...), but unfamiliarity with common, everyday tasks is more difficult to explain – though we suspect it's just garden-variety stupidity. Submitted for your consideration today is Charlotte Johnson as she fumbles her way through "How to Open a Plastic Wine Bottle Cap" for Leaf.tv (formerly eHow.com).

Judge's Paneling, the Dummy Description

Judge's Paneling

One of the ways TV set decorators suggest to viewers that a character is wealthy is to show rich wood paneling in the guy's study or library. That's not a design feature you find in the average suburban tract home, after all. If you wanted to install it yourself, you'd need to know what it's called; and the answer is, sometimes, "judge's paneling." If you asked about DIY judge's paneling, however, you might well run into someone else who didn't know the name; though that didn't stop eHowian Tracie Harris from pretending to explain "How to Install Judges Paneling."¹ Never you mind that missing apostrophe...

Ounces to Tablespoons, the Dummy Conversion

Sometimes the crack research team at the Antisocial Network can see where misguided freelancers went wrong in their misinformation, but other times it isn't so simple. Take, for instance, the time we ran across Leslie Renico of Leaf.tv (formerly eHow.com, in case you didn't know) and her woefully inadequate attempt to explain "How to Measure Dry Ounces to Tablespoons."¹ We'll grant that the title is stupid to begin with: "measure"? why not "convert"?  but nevertheless, the screw-up is entirely on Leslie. No wonder they took away her byline!