Decks for Clueless Dummies

Adding a deck

We're all familiar with the "Steves" and "Esthers" who answer the phone when we call customer service. You know, the ones with the suspiciously thick accents and the endless apologies. Well, fake North Americans abound among freelancers, too. Take Infobarrel's noryanna, who claims to have grown up in the "rural American mid-west [sic]" and to have been a Peace Corps volunteer. Yeah, right: based on her content, it's readily apparent that this scammer is unlikely to have ever set foot in North America, much less be a native. Just take a look at "Adding A Deck To Your House" at InfoBarrel...

Riddle us this: would a native English speaker from the "American mid-west" (where the word is only hyphenated by new immigrants) introduce building a deck this way?

"As an owner of an under way custom house, you won’t feel more enthusiastic than in the moment when the build reaches the stage of exterior finishing, and an attached deck addition falls into this category."

Then, of course, there's always Noryanna's surprising -- and "interesting" -- command of formal written English (how many Midwesterners do you know who routinely introduce "pragmatic" into their everyday conversation?); not to mention her inability to differentiate between decks and patios "One of the most popular and pragmatic types of the numerous attached deck designs available in books, web sites and do-it-yourself magazines is represented by the one covered with a canopy or pergola. Thus, the owner of the house can control sunlight and enjoy relaxing moments on the patio." Oh, yeah, she definitely doesn't know decks if she's going to rattle off this bushwa:

"Trying to avoid the complications of this sensitive decking material [wood? "sensitive"?], some people choose concrete for their patio decks, thinking that it wouldn’t require any finish... What is certain is that many homeowners equip their concrete attached deck with an indoor/outdoor carpet in order to give it a warmer look and a more comfortable feel."

Now there's an idea: a concrete deck covered with fake AstroTurf®. Antisocial Network staffers from the Midwest beg readers not to make jokes about flyover country, since this woman has clearly never been there. Shame on this Dumbass of the Day, both for faking her citizenship (she appears to be from Taiwan) and for faking knowledge...

¹ InfoBarrel has deleted all its content, but this particuar rubbish can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   infobarrel.com/Adding_A_Deck_To_Your_House

copyright © 2015-2022 scmrak

DD - DECKS