Citizenship Tests for Dummies

Obtaining U S citizenship through naturalization

If there's any place on the Internet where dumbassery is more common than in the Demand Media family, it will almost certainly be somewhere in the cesspool commonly known as "social media." With that in mind, our peeps dipped their collective toe in the murky water post-election to see what some of the more... erudite... among their acquaintances and their friends had to say. We found plenty, and decided to share one example with you. Someone from the Indianapolis, Indiana, area told his friends that,

"When I voted this morning, I noticed they had the Indiana voter rights posted in Spanish. Since you have to speak English to gain citizenship, why the hell do they need to do that? Hmm."

We could have told him that plenty of people are sufficiently functional in English as a second language to pass a citizenship test without anything beyond third-grade reading ability: English is one of the most difficult written languages in the world. But we just watched as some dummy named John Goleta dug himself a jackass-sized hole: "Obama said illegals could vote! I mean undocumented!" "Yes you [are required to take the citizenship test in English]! Those people are not well informed!" "Actually its [sic] 1 for english [sic] and 2 for spanish! [sic] Jajajajajaj! [sic]" So, let's take those three claims in order:

1. Not since the eighteenth century has anyone said non-citizens can vote (in a Federal election). The dumbass most likely left out some meaning-changing clause such as "Obama said illegals can vote if they become citizens first"; the old "out-of-context" trick.
2. No, under certain circumstances, an applicant for citizenship may take the test in his or her native language. 
3. We hate to be picky, but if one did have to pass a literacy test to vote, his level of English competency does not bode well for Mr. Goleta – WTF does "Jajajajajaj" mean?
4. And finally, the INS requires that an applicant be able to speak, read and write basic English, stating that "A naturalization applicant must only demonstrate an ability to read, write, speak​,​ and understand words in ordinary usage.​ ​Ordinary usage means comprehensible and ​pertinent​ communication through simple vocabulary and grammar, which may include noticeable errors in pronouncing, constructing, spelling, and understanding completely certain words, phrases, and sentences.​" We submit that the legal verbiage of "Indiana voter [sic] rights" is not what one would reasonably consider "ordinary usage." Hell, native-born citizens don't understand legalese most of the time! We also submit that, given the importance of voting, citizens should be given the opportunity to complete the process in the language with which they are most familiar.

With that under his belt, it's pretty certain that Mr. Goleta is one of those classic Dumbass of the Day candidates who prefers that his "information" be doled out by his co-believers  rather than going through the work of researching facts and coming to informed conclusions.

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