Installing a Sink, the Dummy Method

Lavatory basin installation

It's been a while since our research staffers peeked from the muck that is eHow.com, but today they decided to remind our readers that freelancers whose only qualification was greed managed to infest other corners of the net as well. Today's nominee for DotD is a returning visitor from Catalogs.com (formerly known as WhoWhatWhenWhereHowWhy, etc.) who wrote there under the pseudonym M. Dee Dubroff (known elsewhere as Marjorie Dorfman). Today, Dubroff is going to tell us "How to Install a Sink." Or maybe not...

Forgive us our presumption, but we kind of thought that when M. Dee said "sink," she meant "kitchen sink." After all, the sink in the bathroom is typically called a "lavatory" because that's where you "lave" your face and hands. To Dubroff, however, the difference is immaterial. It is, however, obvious that she's unfamiliar with installing any sink, given the "warning" in her opening paragraph:

"In order to do things correctly, when learning how to install a sink, check the inside of the vanity cabinet to make sure there are no obstacles like drawers for example, that could limit the size of the new sink."

Umm, dummy, a sink vanity is specifically designed without drawers for that reason! But, then, perhaps you didn't know that. Whatever. So, when providing instructions for installing your sink, Dubroff instructs you to

"Position the sink upside-down on the newly laminated counter top or the plywood base... Draw a pencil line around the edge of the sink." "Measure inward, and draw another line 11/2 inches long inside the sink line." "Drill a hole large enough for a saber saw blade to the inside of each corner of the inside line and cut along this line while another person supports the sink from below. Lift the unwanted piece out."

OK, we'll stop right there: just what does instruction number two mean? and while we're at it, why is someone "supporting the sink from below" while you're cutting a hole in the countertop? OK, moving on... after caulking and plopping the sink into the hole, you add faucets:

"How to install a sink requires knowing how to mount the faucets. They usually have manufacturer’s instructions to follow as well. Plumber’s putty is used to mount them through the holes in the sink. A common, adjustable wrench works well to tighten up the faucets’ hardware. "

We couldn't let this bull pass without comment: "Plumber’s putty is used to mount them through the holes in the sink"? Is this idiot kidding? You use plumber's putty on the tailpiece and flange, not the faucets, and faucets are usually installed through holes in the counter, not the sink! Oh, and there's more: just check this crap out:

"You will need to specify the diameter and material of the supply pipe and if the sink is not in the bathroom and will involve a dishwasher, it will require a special T-shaped shutoff valve."

Now she's talking about kitchen sinks? and what's this crap about a "special T-shaped shutoff valve"? And finally, Dubroff instructs her readers that

"The basket strainer should be packed with plumber's putty and pushed firmly down into place."

Ugh. Not only is that utter bullshit, it's also truly lousy writing... So what did we get from that content? well, we learned that Dubroff / Dorfman knows nothing about sinks, can't differentiate between a bathroom lavatory and a kitchen sink, merely reworded the instructions for a sink her S.O. or local plumber installed, and is unaware that there are also undermount and pedestal style sinks that require a completely different installation process. Any poor sucker who followed the instructions written by this Dumbass of the Day would be mopping up water for a year.

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