Driving Screws for DIY Dummies

If the Antisocial Network staffers have learned anything while searching the 'net for brainless freelancers, it's probably that a little bit of knowledge is as bad as – and sometimes worse than – none at all. One of the kids ran across a post recently that demonstrates the problem remarkably well. Feast your eyes, then on the Hunker.com article (now at SFGate.com) "How to Drive a Screw Into Wood," penned by returning DotD Ruth de Jauregui. Oddly enough, Ruth's byline has disappeared... but we know she wrote it, thanks to the wayback machine.

As had many an eHowian before her (and also after her), de Jauregui must have thought, "Heck, I can drive screws into wood: this'll be an easy fifteen bucks!" Sadly, Ruth was mistaken...

Here, for instance, is de Jauregui's description of the most important task:

"Place a drill bit in the electric drill's chuck and tighten the chuck. The bit should be the same diameter as the screw's shaft. Drill a pilot hole through the board and part way into the stud or other board. Remove the drill bit and replace it with a Phillips or screw driver bit." 

What's wrong with that? (At least) three things:

She failed to mention that the pilot hole has to be as long as, and preferably slightly longer, than the screw; otherwise the screw will bind. She blew the bit diameter discussion: the diameter of the hole in the far board should be the same as the "root diameter" (also known as the shaft). In the near board, the hole diameter must be that of the unthreaded shank. And while you're at it, you have to chamfer the hole to allow the screw to countersink. This is especially critical in hardwoods. A countersink set would be a good idea... Grammatically speaking, Ruth, it ain't a "screw driver"; it's a screwdriver.

Ruth went on to tell us to

"Draw the screw across a bar of soap or a wax candle if you're screwing into a hardwood, such as maple or walnut."

No, Ruth, people who know what they're doing tell you not to use soap. Wax? sure... but not soap: it attracts moisture that can corrode the screw and stain the wood.

Given Ruth's ignorance of the design of screws – she never even mentioned that you should be using wood screws, or that wood screws are just one of many screw formats – we find that an amateur attempting to use her instructions would encounter more frustration than reading this dreck was worth.

When we see badly-written instructions pounded out by a freelancer who clearly knew little or nothing about the topic, we like to hand the writer the Dumbass of the Day. Here's award number five for de Jauregui...

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