Adding a New Tee in PVC Pipe for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCXLVI

Fitting a slip tee

When it comes to the world of do-it-yourself home maintenance and repair, we long ago realized that amateurs rarely jump online to ask about the most basic tasks. We guess that's because complete amateurs don't tackle the simplest task; they hire someone to do it for them. It's when they have a little experience and have encountered something new that they start googling solutions to the problem at hand. That realization is why we think eHowian Steve Hamilton missed the point when he pounded out the SFGate.com post called, "How to Make a T in the Middle of PVC Plumbing."

Sealing a Doorway for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCLIX

The business model of the former eHow.com was simple: pay people to answer questions scraped from search engines. The plan was intriguing, but the execution was horrendous: far too many of the so-called "answers" were nothing more than bald-faced attempts to reword something the eHow contributor didn't understand. It's often pretty easy to identify the work of the guilty parties if you have even an inkling of that the answer should be. One of our staffers caught eHowian Carson Barrett early on in his attempt to explain, "How to Fill in a Doorway With Drywall" for SFGate.com.

A Secret Wall Compartment for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCLVIII

According to the founder of our site, his father-in-law – a carpenter and general handyman by trade – was infamous for stashing valuables and weapons in the walls of his house. According to his wife, there's a better than even chance that there are still forgotten hidden compartments with cash and guns in houses where he used to live: he was that good. On the other hand, it wouldn't take much looking at all to find the "hidden" compartment laid out by David Secor in his SFGate.com post, "How to Make a Secret Wall Compartment."¹ That's what you get for asking a self-described "computer repairman and writer" instead of someone who knows how...

DIY Bifold Doors for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXXV

louvered bifold doors

When it comes to the world of do-it-yourself projects, few things irritate the staffers at the Antisocial Network more than some yahoo pretending to know a-a-a-all about a topic while writing instructions, yet making a complete mess out of even the most basic information. We're going to look at one such example today; the work of returning DotD Kelly Sundstrom, who blessed the internet with her SFGate.com post, "How to Build DIY Bi-Fold Doors."¹

Crushing Rocks for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCII

arc welding

Some of our DotDs make themselves known through their inability to answer a question, whether through ignoance or stupidity; others by their inability to understand the question or the reason it was asked. Of course there are those who manage to check both boxes; but we think today's nominee, unlike many of his fellow eHow.com "contributors," actually found an answer of sorts to the question. Victor Fonseca failed in two ways, however: first, he didn't understand the instructions he parroted and second, he failed to think through why someone might ask "How to Build a Rock Crusher" (now at SFGate.com).

Bed Post Repair by Dummies - The Freelance Files MMLXXXIII

Split Bedpost

We have a couple of staffers who routinely build their own furniture. We're not talking fancy-schmancy stuff; mostly bookcases and the occasional table ("occasional table," get it?) That's probably why they aren't particularly forgiving when they run across some clueless freelancer attempting to explain woodworking, especially when it comes to working with furniture. The level of peeve just rises when said freelancer pretends to have gotten their "how-to" information from a source that didn't even address the task in question. With that in mind. here's their response to "How to Fix a Broken Bed Post," a post by Jean Asta at eHow.com (now living at SFGate.com).

A Medicine Cabinet for Dummies

Picture-frame cabinet

Among the more irritating habits of freelance writers at the former eHow.com was a tendency to reinterpret the questions they were answering (and we use that word loosely) to make their jobs easier. The result was, to be blunt, often well worthy of the title of DotD. Want an example? Sure: let's say the question was, "How to Make a Recessed Medicine Cabinet From a Picture Frame," and let's see just how Roger Golden blew it for SFGate.com.

Balancing Air Conditioning for Dummies

HVAC duct damper with handle

Among the more... irritating? features of the freelancers who pounded out post after post for eHow.com was the frequent assumption that, even though they knew nothing about a topic, they still knew more than some poor schmuck who entered a question into a search engine. The sad truth was that they often knew as little, and sometimes even less... Take, for example, today's nominee, eHowian C. O. Ryan, who attempted to explain to some poor homeowner "How to Adjust the Ducts on a House Air Conditioner," which we found infesting SFGate.com.

Installing Cabinets as Copied by Dummies

 

installing cabinets - note use of clamps

As far as we can tell, many of the freelancing English and Journalism graduates who populated eHow.com were convinced that they could reword  anything quickly and accurately, ending up with a product the equal of their "reference." We're here to tell you that most of them appear to have been sadly mistaken. Today's nominee, Janet Beal, found a perfectly good reference for the question she thought she was answering, but  in the process of performing a classic eHow copy-reword-paste, she blew it. Let's take a look at her SFGate.com post "How to Install Used Cabinets."

Caulking Windows for Dummies

Not a storm window

 Few of the freelancers who get nominated for the DotD are more irritating to the staffers than the ones who claim to have "researched" their topic and provide references to... show their work... yet clearly did not read the stuff they claim to have used. That's what tripped up today's nominee, John Rose, in his SFGate.com post, "How to Recaulk a Storm Window on a House With Vinyl Siding." All the staffer who turned this one up needed was to spend about thirty seconds to find what Rose missed and another thirty to find the information in his claimed "reference."

Odd-Shaped Frames for Dummies

DIY hexagons

The freelancers who infest content farms seem to be born politicians. Ever notice how, when you ask politicians questions they can't – or don't want to – answer, they pivot to the answer they want to give? Back in the bad old days, a lot of contributors to eHow.com did pretty much the same thing. Ask 'em a question they can't answer, and they answer a question that may be tangentially related that they can answer. Take, for example, Gina Samarotto and her SFGate.com post, "How to Frame Odd Shapes."

Laying a Pine Floor for Dummies

heart pine flooring

It probably won't surprise our readers that some of the "contributors" to the eHow.com family of websites weren't all that familiar with the topic they they were talking about. Nonetheless, some of them were capable enough researchers – and had sufficient pride in their work – that they managed to find useful information, synthesize the answer, and plug it into the format required by DMS¹, the sites' owner. Sometimes, though. it just looks like they've done a good job. Such is the problem with our nominee today, C. O. Ryan, an SFGate.com post titled "How to Lay a Real Pine Wood Floor."

Shower Benches for Small Dummies

These plans won't build this shower bench

We've mentioned before that few things are more likely to irk our staffers that a eHow.com freelancer who fakes his references. In the first place, doing that makes it impossible to error-check the content and in the second place, it's intellectually dishonest. That, plus some sloppy work overall, is the basis for today's award. With that in mind, let's meet Brandon Salo and his SFGate.com post, "How to Build a Teak Shower Bench."

Refrigerator Wattage for Dummies

current measurement with ammeter

We're well aware that the average person knows little more about electricity than, "This is a plug. That is a switch." While that's not optimal, at least it isn't (generally) dangerous stupidity – just garden-variety ignorance. And while we're on the topic of garden-variety ignorance, we'd like to introduce you to returning DotD David Robinson (not the former US Navy and San Antonio Spurs center). Robinson's lack of... common sense? was evident as he pounded out yet another eHow.com post back in 2013. We checked out his answer to, "How to Check the Wattage of a Refrigerator" at SFGate.com... and found it lacking.

Porch Swings for Dummies

Swing in pergola

We have long since lost count of the number of times we've read through what should be simple, straightforward instructions and come across a line or two (or three or four) that just didn't make any sense. We're pretty careful to make certain we "test" for typos, but the sad truth is that most of the bogosity we encounter is clearly a result of ignorance... ignorance like that Maria Magher revealed in her article at SFGate.com, "How to Hang a Swing From a Pergola."

Pumping Water for Dummies

Pumping water with a hand pump

We've noticed here (many a time) that the DMS powers that be typically allowed their freelance contributors wide latitude when it came to interpreting the "How do I"? questions they were trying to answer. If we had to be kind, we'd say that some freelancers took advantage of this latitude to come up with the simplest possible explanation for a question. If we had to be honest, we suspect that a lot of the liberal arts types couldn't conceive of an answer in the realm of STEM... much like Brenda Barron treated the question, "How to Pump Water Uphill" (found at Hunker.com, moved to SFGate.com).

A Dog Ramp for Dummies

Indoor pet ramp (see curtains?)

The contributors at eHow.com (now Leaf Group) came up with some pretty weak attempts to provide how-to instructions over the years, many times because the person writing the post had no more idea "how to" than did the person (the "OQ") who originally asked the question. You have to wonder how pleased the OQ would be with some of the answers, especially if they're as limp and unhelpful as the answer Laura N. Stuart had for someone wanting to know "How to Make an Outdoor Pet Ramp" at SFGate.com.

Air Conditioners for Dummies

Our staffers here at the Antisocial Network tend to be rather unforgiving of freelancers who prattle on about topics for which they have no training and no experience. Unfortunately, some of them are quite prolific. Today's DotD nominee is one such character a freelancer who boasts that she has "more than 4,000 publishing credits." If, however, others of them are as useless as this SFGate.com article – "Can You Hook Up an AC Unit Without a Window?" – then Michelle Miley has been a significant contributor to the stupidification of the internet.

Rolling Bookcases for the Dummy Carpenter

Rolling bookcase

When it came to harvesting internet queries and turning those searches into "how-to" articles, the king of websites was always eHow.com. The idea was sound, of course, but the execution was sadly lacking. That's probably because the site's owners (Demand Media Studios, now named Leaf Group) had pretty low standards for the people who actually wrote those how-tos. Their model assumed that just about anyone could reword instructions they'd found somewhere else. Nope, that's not true: here, for example, is eHow royalty Billie Jo Jannen with her SFGate.com version of "How to Build a Rolling Bookcase."

Driving Screws for DIY Dummies

If the Antisocial Network staffers have learned anything while searching the 'net for brainless freelancers, it's probably that a little bit of knowledge is as bad as – and sometimes worse than – none at all. One of the kids ran across a post recently that demonstrates the problem remarkably well. Feast your eyes, then on the Hunker.com article (now at SFGate.com) "How to Drive a Screw Into Wood," penned by returning DotD Ruth de Jauregui. Oddly enough, Ruth's byline has disappeared... but we know she wrote it, thanks to the wayback machine.