Plate Grooves for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCXLI

shelf with plate groove

It's Monday, and we're in kind of a hurry. Bear with us... Being in a hurry seems to have been  requirement for the freelancers who wrote for eHow.com's content farmers, especially when it comes to facts. Given that repeat offender Nichole Liandi barely topped 200 words for her work (a word we use loosely, mind you) in "How to Put a Plate Groove in a Shelf," it's surprising how little knowledge the young history grad managed to convey to her readers.

Construction and Tools for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCXXVIII

tools for builders

An old adage would have it that if you ask a stupid question, you'll get a stupid answer. That may not necessarily be the case, though, because there are always people who are willing to generously share their knowledge even with garden-variety fools. On the other hand, there's eHow.com, where people who knew nothing often attempted to answer stupid questions, and their work was quite likely to support the old saw. Take, for instance, someone who wanted to know a "List of Tools Used in Construction": eHowian Timothy Sexton took it upon himself to create such a list... except he clearly had no idea what he was talking about in his post, which now lives at HomeSteady.com.

DIY Sharpening Jigs for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCXIV

shop-built blade jig

The more savvy "contributors" to the website eHow.com quickly learned that they could, to be frank, bullshit their way past the gatekeepers on any topic that was in the least technical. That's because those gatekeepers, holding the position known as "content editor," rarely understood the content they were supposedly editing. Instead, all they usually did was check the references (if any) and make certain that the content met the site's stringent style guide. As far as accuracy was concerned, "That wasn't their problem." The failure of the system was responsible for eHow's reputation as the mother lode of misinformation... misinformation like that printed by Chris Baylor in the GardenGuides.com article "DIY Lawnmower Blade Sharpener Jig."

Crosscut Jigs for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCIV

Shop-built crosscut guide

The model on which the original eHow.com was built was simple: figure out what people are searching for on the internet and give it to them. Unfortunately, without a large staff of people who already knew all the answers, eHow's business model depended on the greed of people who would perform the necessary "research" and publish it. Since eHow didn't have knowledgeable staff, they made the mistake of believing that their contributors would be knowledgeable. Silly eHow! Instead of answers, they got half-baked content "corrected" by people who also didn't know the answers. That's how they ended up with contributors like José Leiva and his OurPastimes.com post, "How to Make a Siding Cutting Table."

Belt Sanders for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCX

Belt sander

We don't know about you, but we prefer that our questions not be answered by people who, before they googled the topic, were every bit as ignorant as we are... yet that appears to have long been the model by which internet content farms have operated. Be honest, OK? Would you rather have a dentist explaining the effects of plaque than a freelance web designer? a physicist detailing the different flavors of quarks than an out-of-work journalism grad? Sure you would! Instead of depending on some stranger to look it up, if you look it up yourself you can decide what's important to know and what's not. That, unfortunately, is not where WiseGEEK.com shines. No, their freelancers are prone to pretense about their knowledge; just like R. Kayne¹ did in attempting to answer the question, "What is a Belt Sander?" for niche site HomeQuestionsAnswered.com.

Shovels for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCVII

13 Different Shovels

It's always seemed to make good sense to us that when you want useful information about a topic, you get it from someone who already knows that information – not someone who has to look it up. If you ever doubted that, just ask your Google Home (or Alexa) a question that can't be answered with a simple fact and see what answer you get...  Whatever the case, we're pretty sure that, if you have ever wondered "What are the Best Tips for How to Shovel?" you might want to ask someone who... has used a shovel a time or two. That very likely does not include Jessica Ellis of WiseGEEK.com. Chances are pretty good that the theater graduate is more comfortable with... smaller tools. Like a pencil.

Narrower Doors for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXLIV

Using a saw guide

Face it: there must be about a bazillion websites out there that offer do-it-yourself instructions, a lot of them written by professionals who want to help out amateur DIYers. So why would anyone who wants to know "How to Cut Down the Width of a Door" look to a freelance writer with a BA in English, in particular freelancers who – like Hunker.com contributor Andrea Stein – clearly have no idea what they're talking about? Yet there she is, bold as brass, spreading her personal version of dumbassery around the internet...

Hex Bits for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXXIX

hex bit socket (note square drive hole)

If it were not so painful, it would be amusing to watch some of the journalism majors our staff encounters trying to explain even the most trivial of technical and mechanical products. The way in which some of them manage to mangle definitions and terminology would be hilarious if we didn't realize that some poor schmuck reading their literary droppings might think they were accurate. To the canon of mangled technical information, we now add the WiseGEEK.com post "What Is a Hex Bit Socket?" (in their niche that is supposedly AboutMechanics.com); a piece of internet stupidification from the keyboard of returning DotD Maggie Worth.

Sharpening Jigs for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXV

one guy's blade sharpening jig

If the work by wannabe citizen journalists we tap for our awards isn't out-and-out bull, it usually falls into one of two broad categories: overly-specific answers to generic questions, or overly-generic answers to specific questions. We consider either one to be off-topic and fair game for a DotD nomination. Today's awardee pretty much falls into the first of the two. It's by a newbie who appears to have adopted a time-honored ehow.com contributor trick: Chris Baylor "answered" every question that contained the word "jig." That includes the GardenGuides.com post, "DIY Lawnmower Blade Sharpener Jig."

Angle Finders for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMXCVII

In the bad old days of content farms, certain freelancers decided that the quickest way to amass a fortune in so-called "passive income" was to write reviews of expensive items. Whether it was vacuum cleaners or SLR cameras, every product had its self-declared "expert," often someone whose expertise extended just about as far as having browsed the reviews at Amazon. Wissley.com had one such fake reviewer who specialized in tools; a guy who called himself Tested-to-Destruction. We've seen his particular brand of rubbish before, and we were heartily unimpressed. That's why we took another look at his catalog and plucked out a likely candidate: "Angle Finder Reviews."

Building a Planter Box for Dummies

raised planter boxes

It seems as if it's been forever since the last time we visited Seekyt.com, but it's really only been seven months or so. Still, we wanted to remind people that not all content farms are dead. Some of them are pretty close, like Infobarrel.com – they've been promising to be back "in a couple of hours" for about a month now. But Seekyt keeps pluggin' away, although we're pretty sure they haven't added new content since some time in Spring of 2019. But that doesn't mean we can't make fun of any of their older rubbish, garbage like "How to Make a Raised Garden Box," posted by Lillian_Connors back in 2014.

A Tenon Cutter for Utter Dummies

One type of log tenon cutter

 If the Antisocial Network staff had a motto, it would have to be something like "Never ask a massage therapist to explain an electrician's job," or perhaps "Never ask a plumber for instructions on a proctological procedure." You get the point, of course: people who have no clue about how to perform a task are most definitely not the ones to ask how to do it. Yet one internet company built a business out of doing exactly that. Today's nomination is evidence that it doesn't work. Meet Sanne Godfrey and her eHow.com post, "How to Build a Log Tenon Cutter" (now living at the niche site OurPastimes.com). 

Domino Racks for Dummy Woodworkers

Stack dado set

Antisocial Network staffers are rarely, if ever, surprised to find self-appointed "freelance journalists" who've ventured too far outside their comfort zones to provide useful information. This syndrome seems especially common among the drones who wrote for the site formerly known as eHow.com; content that's now distributed among a number of niche sites. Should we trust the advice of someone with an M Ed who insists on writing about "home improvement"? Not if it's Shellie Braeuner, at least based on her OurPastimes.com post, "How to Build Wooden Domino Racks."

Plexiglass Crafts for Dummies

Not made with a band saw

 It's bad enough to find one of those old eHow.com posts where the "contributors" (as the site called it's greed-sucking freelancers) misinterpreted the questions they were allegedly answering, but it's even worse when the "answer" contained misinformation. Unfortunately, that syndrome seemed to happen with startling regularity. One of the staffers turned up a new one not long ago, Esperance Barretto pretending to know "How to Carve Plexiglass" at the mother site.

Fake Nailer Reviews by Dummies

Wire-collated nail coil

Some of the staffers here at the Antisocial Network wrote at one time or another for review websites like Epinions.com, and they are all well aware of the "anything with a cord or a battery" mentality of fake reviewers. The idea is that reviews of expensive items like appliances, cameras, and power tools paid far better than reviews of music or books; which meant that the less scrupulous contributors were prone to exaggerating a) their experience and b) their expertise. One of the more egregious cases of fakers we've found is James K. Blake of EzineArticles.com, who pounded out 309 "reviews" for the website in about ten months (dumping out as many as twenty per day), more than 200 of them for power tools. If they all suck as much as "Nailing Made Simpler With The Hitachi NV75AG Framing Coil Nailer" (and the ones we're read do), you'd be wise to avoid his "work."

Dovetails for Dummies

Try cutting that with a straight bit, Cam

A lot of the staffers here at the Antisocial Network dabble from time to time in woodworking, which is probably why there's a boatload of nominations on the site for clueless freelancers trying to explain how to make things out of wood, even though the freelancer would be hard-pressed to tell CDX plywood from solid walnut. Yes, they're bitter...  anyway, one of them ran across some content scribbled down at eHow.com by one of the more clueless freelancers, a yutz named Cameron Easey. This time out, Easey pretended to know, "How to Make Dovetail Joints With a Router"¹ for OurPastimes.com.

Woodworking Instructions for Dummies

Trapezoid Box

Our staff woodworkers, and we have several, are generally appalled at the level of bogosity they find in woodworking projects. The writers demonstrate their ignorance not only of technique but of even the most basic tool choice and usage. One of the most galling features of the eHow.com freelancers is their insistence on calling for the use of a circular saw, regardless of the project. Today's nominee, one Roger Golden, is a case in point: witness his "How to Build a Wood Trapezoid Box" at OurPastimes.com.

Convex Fences for Dummies

curved-top fence

One of the staffers moved from the south to the Midwest a few years ago and was taken aback by the prevalence of so-called "scalloped" fences; those that have a curving top between each pair of posts instead of a straight line. Truth be told, she thinks it looks stupid; though the arched-top style (convex curves) is a little more pleasing. Apparently, someone thinks the fence is "cool," so they googled "How to Cut a Convex Design in My Fence" and Mary Lougee answered it for eHow.com (now niched at HomeSteady.com). Unfortunately, Mary had some... problems.

Nail Guns for the Dummy DIYer

A staffer pointed out not long ago that sometimes you don't even have to read the text of older eHow.com content (most of which is now in niche sites) to flag a post as a potential nominee. All you heed to do, she says, is look at the image that accompanies the post. That's how she caught the HomeSteady.com post by Shelley Moore entitled "Angled Vs. [sic] Straight Nail Guns."¹ In Moore's defense, the image of a screw gun that accompanies the post is probably the work of some other freelancer, since her original had no such image, according to the Wayback machine at archive.org.

Tiny Stripped Screws for Dummies

Very small screw

Some of our staffers are starting to think that we're in a rut here at the Antisocial Network. They've come to that conclusion for the simple reason that today's nomination is the second on what appears to be the same topic in just a couple of days. We promise you, however, that this nomination is for a completely different reason: oh, sure, Samantha Volz was every bit as far out of her comfort zone when writing "How to Remove Very Small Stripped Screws"¹ for HomeSteady.com as was her predecessor, but she blew it in a different way.