Carport Conversion for Dummies

A collapsed wall

The staffers here at the Antisocial Network are accustomed to finding ignorant statements in the posts they read at content farms, but it's not all that usual to run across people saying things that are outright dangerous. It does, however, happen... and it happened with the post we're featuring today. Have a look at what freelancer Jesse Dempsen said in his eHow.com post titled, "How do I Change a Carport and Turn it Into a Room?" ¹ – we hope you'll agree.

Dempsen, allegedly an English teacher by trade, grabbed this idea and ran with it even though it's pretty obvious from his instructions that he's woefully unqualified to give anyone such advice. His one reference has zip to say about this project, although it does include the following warning:

"Avoid the Pitfalls of Over-Extending: Determine which parts of the job you can sensibly do yourself and which should be subcontracted to professionals." Would that Dempsen had read that... We base our assessment of Jesse's skill level first on his introduction: "Converting a carport into interior space is a fantastic way of not only adding square footage to your home, but also increasing its value. Since the structure is already there, all that's required of you is some basic carpentry skills to add a floor and walls..." ...and then on his very first instruction: "Cut an opening in the outer wall of the house for a door, or cut out the entire wall if you plan on having the room open to the rest of the house. "

In case you didn't see the fallacy in his introduction, consider the fact that a carport probably wouldn't have the proper foundation for habitable space. As for the notion of "cut out the entire wall"? Well, we sure hope anyone stupid enough to follow that instruction is wearing a hard had and has paid-up life insurance.

Jesse's instructions, such as they are, include,

• "Frame the floor with 2-by-6 or 2-by-4 boards around the perimeter of the carport's concrete slab." – We guess that's supposed to mean adding a sill. Who knows?
• "Attach joist hangers to the beams, every 16 inches on center." – Jesse's only lumber is "2-by-6 or 2-by-4 boards"; joists should be 2-by-8 or 2-by-10, depending on the span. Oops.
• "Frame the walls with 2-by-4 or 2-by-6 lumber, spaced every 16 inches between top and bottom plates." – Nice idea, but this is Jesse's first mention of these "plates" of which he speaks.
• "Drive screws through the OSB and into the frame, both on the floor and walls." – Ummm, Jesse? Inside or outside the walls?
• "Install any windows or doors and any electrical outlets or lighting..." – Hey, Jesse: heating and cooling, maybe?
• "Hang drywall on the ceiling and walls of the new room using drywall screws. Cut out openings for doors, windows and outlets." – Ummm, Jesse? Shouldn't those features already be there? Shouldn't you cut the drywall to fit them? Hmmm?

Of course, all that work is moot after the house collapses because some idiot cut away an entire wall!
No, it's clear that Jesse had no idea what he was talking about here. All he did was reword a list of steps he found somewhere for performing an addition. He garbled some of those and omitted any reference to heating and cooling, ultimately generating content of which only the mother of a Dumbass of the Day would be proud. Well, her and eHow.

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_6908637_do-change-carport-turn-room_.html

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