The One-Room House for Dummies

one-room dwelling

Sometimes when we read the how-to foolishness our nominees publish in their never-ending search for freelance pennies, we ask ourselves, "Is this person kidding? Do people really think this is how you do that?" We're pretty sure that some of them thought they were being helpful, but there have to be some who laughed all the way to the bank. We can't be certain, of course, but self-described freelance writer Jack S. Waverly probably falls into the latter category. After all, would anyone serious about the topic really think his HomeSteady.com post "How to Build a One-Room House" was on point?

Right out of the box, we figured Waverly was talking through his hat when he introduced the topic by babbling that,

"Many single people would like to have a small space to call their own... there is a way to build a small one room [sic] house similar to an efficiency apartment."

Well, sure there is. When Jack wrote this, so-called "tiny houses" were all the rage. We were somewhat taken aback when he started out his instructions by telling people to,

"Dig a hole in the ground roughly 25' x 25' with a two-foot depth bringing the foundation to below the frost line of the ground. This will be the crawl space for the house."

There is so much wrong with this: first, 625 square feet isn't a particularly small house given that it's the size of many a two-bedroom apartment. Second, you don't dig a crawl space; a crawl space is on grade with the rest of the lot. And third, if you were to dig a perimeter foundation, you'd dig trenches and the depth would be a function of the local frost depth. Jackie-boy went on from there...

"Build the floor over the crawl space with 2 x 4 beams 10' long. "

Jack, Jack, Jack: a 2-by-4 is not a "beam"! And ten-foot floor joists should be at least 2-by-6, FWIW. Next, Waverly demonstrated his ignorance of climate:

"Build the walls using 2 x 4s next. Build each wall with space for at least one window for enough natural light and heat to get in..."

Oh, Jack! when it's hot outside, you don't want the "heat to get in"; and when it's cold outside there isn't any "heat to get in"! And when it comes to utilities? Here's what Jack said...

"Place the electrical boxes and wiring. You will want two outlets per wall spaced at least five feet apart."

We guess Jack wants to use natural light, since he hasn't put in any lighting... but then again, he didn't put in a ceiling, either. As for water?

"Have the main water line placed under the kitchen sink for easy access. Run the pipe from the kitchen to the bathroom. Run a continuous line to connect the bathroom sink, toilet and shower or tub as well as the water heater. Have another pipe running parallel to allow hot water to route itself back through."

No, Jack, you don't build a loop that allows "hot water to route itself back through." ON the other hand, you do plumb cold water separately from the hot, and you had BETTER provide a means for disposing of waste water!
Finally, Jack gushes about the only thing in his post that makes even a little sense, the section titled "WARNING":

"You will need an accurate materials list to build this...You will need a backhoe and various power tools to build this."

After all that, can anyone object to our naming Waverly our Dumbass of the Day? We didn't think so...

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