A DIY Skateboard Ramp for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXLI

It really chaps the collective hiney of our staffers to come across a freelance post in which someone with no experience or knowledge of a project pretends to provide instructions by rewording some tangentially related general reference. That is, however, exactly what today's nominee did, collecting her fifteen-buck stipend from the idiots at Demand Media for a post that is essentially useless. Let's give a warm (not) welcome to J-school grad Tracy Morris, back for her second award, for the SportsRec.com post, "How to Build a Concrete Skate Ramp."

Morris pumped out a lot of words to tell people how to clear the area and pour concrete, drawing ve-e-e-ry heavily on a now-defunct website of instructions for building skateboard parks. Tracy's problem, however, was that the website did not include any specific plans for ramps. So, in her infinite wisdom, Tracy just shared generalities – more than 500 words worth. When it comes to useful information, however, Ms. Morris came up short. Take, for instance, her not-at-all-detailed instructions for building the forms necessary to shape the ramp:

"Construct your concrete forms out of wood. The concrete forms will create a mold into which you will pour your concrete. Cut the forms out to make the sides, back and slope of the ramp. Join the walls of the form together using wood screws."

Yup, that's it: not one word about how to make a ramp shape with the forms. Is it curved? Straight? Is the ramp solid concrete or built around a core of blocks or stone? Inquiring minds want to know...

 

Then again, this is the sparkling intellect who introduced her topic by gushing that,

"[You] can build your own concrete ramps using concrete."

Do tell, Tracy, what else would you use to build concrete ramps? Cookie dough? Ground beef?

No, some poor schmuck googled "how to build a skateboard ramp" and ended up reading through this useless twaddle. Morris got her stipend, Leaf Group got their advertising revenue, and the customer... well, the customer got to read through some Dumbass of the Day quality instructions. In other words, nothing useful.

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