Posts and Railings for Dummy Porch Builders

Installing concrete anchors

When it comes to DIY projects, almost nothing is intuitive to a beginner; and compared to a professional builder, almost everyone is a rank beginner! That's one reason why there are hundreds, if not thousands, of resources for people tacking a project of the "it's new to me" variety. Unfortunately, one company – Demand Media (now Leaf Group) – decided to make money off DIYers by having "contributors" explain these new procedures. The result, which is why we're here, wasn't always... helpful, like the time Pamela Gardapee attempted to explain to the readers of Hunker.com "How to Attach a Wooden Railing to a Concrete Porch."

Here at the Antisocial Network, we're united in our belief that you can't teach someone how to do something you've never done. We sure as heck wouldn't take skydiving lessons from someone who's never been in a plane, for instance. Well, Gardapee's instructions make it pretty obvious that this particular process is new to her as well. Take, for instance, this rather silly step:

"Measure on the concrete where each post will be placed. Have someone hold the railing on the porch, then mark where the posts will go. Mark each corner of each post to determine the center for the bolt-down post holders." "Have someone hold the railing on the porch"? Is she kidding? That's more the sort of instruction you'd find under "How to Hang a Painting"! At least she's on the right track when she talks about the post-holders: those are the most common method for retrofitting posts or columns to an existing concrete slab or porch, though the images Gardapee (or eHow) aren't of post bases installed according to these instructions (with lag bolts???), they're of posts installed using wedge screws.

Pamela's instructions, probably reworded from the website of someone who knew what they were doing, get it wrong: sure, she says, to attach the post bases,

"Make the holes in the concrete with a hammer drill and bit. Use a bit that is the size of the lag bolts that will secure the post holders to the base."

Well, no: you drill holes that will fit the anchors for the bolts or wedge screws you've chosen. If all you do is stick lag bolts in holes in concrete, your railing will fall over quite soon! Once you've drilled your holes, Gardapee says to "Secure each post holder with a socket wrench..." Wonder of wonders, she didn't say which direction to turn the wrench, or insist on an adjustable wrench! And finally, Pamela would have her readers, "Place the railing posts in the post holders and the railing is secure."

Ummm, no, Pamela, it's not secure: now is when you use the lag screws, which will fix the posts in place in their bases. If you don't, the railing will just fall over! We note that in the photos accompanying her post, the lag screws into the posts are missing... oops.
Gardapee clearly had no idea what she was talking about, and her so-called advice is not only wrong but it's dangerously so. She conflated retrofitting post anchors with installation in newly poured concrete, and she also left our a critical step. Not many of the posts we've run across in the past two-plus years are so deserving of the title of Dumbass of the Day!

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