Bird House Plans for Dummies, Redux

An open nesting box of the type
preferred by blackbirds

We regularly check the source posts of our DotD awardees to see if they've been updated, deleted, or moved (a bold red entry in our index pages indicates the original has been deleted, though we try to provide a link to the original for your enjoyment at archive.org). We recently ran across one that had been "cleaned off" the site by Leaf Group, but weirdly enough the old link redirected to a similar article written by the same bozo author. Lo and behold, "How to Build a Birdhouse for a Blackbird" (at HomeSteady.com) turned out to be every bit as qualified for the award as the original post by Bailey Shoemaker Richards: as Joan Osborne might say, the "cure" is worse than the "disease"! #SAD

We wonder if anyone who, like Shoemaker Richards, has studied creative writing; ever gets lumber dimensions right. Or, for that matter, even understands the concept of lumber. Really: we had to just plain laugh at Bailey's materials list:

• 4 cedar sheets, 2 inches thick by 8 inches long by 6 inches wide
• 2 cedar sheets, 2 inches thick by 6 inches long by 6 inches wide
• 4-inch nails

In the first place, WTF is a "cedar sheet"?¹ and in the second place, who the heck builds a birdhouse out of 2 by 6 and 2 by 8 cedar??? We went looking for BSR's original reference. Naturally, she'd botched the link, but one of our interns was able to track it down.² Oddly enough, the original says jack about lumber species or thickness.
Bailey's "instructions" for building the box are remarkable similar to her plans for a "large birdhouse" cited above. That's where you'll find instructions such as

• "Drill a hole that is at least an inch and a half in diameter..." – ...which, of course, raises two questions: 1) who has a drill bit "at least an inch and a half in diameter" and 2) who said a blackbird needs a 1½-inch hole?
• "Align the 2-inch edge of the board with the hole in it with the 8-inch face of one of the other boards. Ensure that the edges of the boards are flush. Attach the two boards with 4-inch nails. Hammer in one nail every 2 inches." – We get it: you're gonna build a square box. The cavity, for whatever it's worth, will be either 4" x 4" or 5" x 5", depending on whether your "sheets" of cedar are a true 2-inch thickness or nominal. Either way, what cavity size best suits a blackbird?
• "Align the 2-inch edge of the board with the hole in it with the 8-inch face of one of the other boards. Ensure that the edges of the boards are flush. Attach the two boards with 4-inch nails. Hammer in one nail every 2 inches." – OK, so it's longer: where does the overhang go? over the entrance hole? on the side? on the back?

Besides the fact that Shoemaker Richards' plans make a ridiculously clumsy nesting box, Bailey failed utterly when she did her research - assuming she actually did some research! Blackbirds don't normally use nesting boxes, but when they do they prefer a box that is open – even a tray (see above). In other words, our Dumbass of the Day referenced the wrong style of box, picked dimensions more or less at random, and mangled the lumber descriptions. #SAD indeed...

¹ Leaf's contextual ads for these "cedar sheets" takes you to an online retailer of bedding. Dumbasses.
² It's since disappeared, but you can look at it here, using the Wayback Machine at archive.org

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