See the USA, the Dummies Version

That's 3,933 miles, "Trudy"

If there's one feature of the lesser content farms that drives our research staffers bonkers, it just about has to be fake travel reviews. Some are reasonably literate considering that the writer has never been there (or hasn't been there in decades), but the worst are the ones in which some content-spinner mangled an article from an in-flight magazine or similar lightweight prose. Here's one of the latter, the only SooperArticles.com post pounded out by Trudy Seeger: "Planning For A Memorable USA Trip? Get These Cities In Your Bucket List First."

According to his¹ author bio, "Trudy Seeger is living in United States." Yeah, right... We hope he isn't; because if he is, the state of education in America is worse than we thought! Here are some of the reasons why, starting with the weird English in his introduction:

"Right from the food loving New Orleans to the artsy Asheville, there are so many cities in the USA all ready to just blow your minds apart. Just on the surface, the NYC skyscrapers might not feel more different from the sun washed buildings of Santa Fe. Similarly, the crystal clear beaches of Honolulu might seem to be just different from the oak shaped ones of Savannah. But despite these differences, American cities share the same old spirit of being lively all the time. Just the right amount of endeavor for preserving rich history and also warming to the modern technologies make this country a far-fetched one for you to enjoy."

Never mind the notion that the beaches of Savannah are "oak-shaped" or that the ones in Honolulu are "crystal clear" (maybe the water, but not the beaches...); what's this bullshit about how the cities "blow your minds apart"? It's our considered opinion that that's gonna leave a mark!

Moving right along, let's see what cities Seeger thinks we should visit:

• "The horse racing events in the NYC... taking place in Central Park..." – Well that's gonna surprise a lot of people. Most New Yorkers probably think the races are at Aqueduct or the Meadowlands.
• "Carmel by the sea [sic]... is a California town, which can measure a little over square mile but it will pack lot into sizes." – We don't even know what that's supposed to mean.
• "Savannah... is also a historic downtown district, which is well filled up with the towering love oak trees and some of the horse drawn carriages." – Love oaks? Never heard of 'em...
• "New Orleans... has been marinated in its own possible traditions for centuries." – Wha??? You got us there...

Finally, Trudy exhorts us,

"These are few of the many cities which are in the must visit list of your bucket. Plan your trip accordingly to cover it all."

Only someone who had never been to this country in his bullshitting life would tell people that they need to "cover it all" (we left out references to Las Vegas and Santa Fe). Clearly, Trudy is unaware that just a round trip between NYC and "Carmel by the sea" is 5,000 air miles (6,000 miles by road), and that's without side trips to Savannah and New Orleans.

Small wonder Seeger (or whatever his/her name) is hereby the second-ever recipient of the Dumbass of the Day award for his work at SooperArticles.com.

¹ We based that gender on Trudy's Twitter profile pic. We could be wrong, but "Trudy" has never been a particularly popular name for male children...

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