Bike Chains for Dummy Facebook Engineers

derailleur

It's been quite a while since we bothered to look at the website Snapguide.com. In fact, we've only been there once before, for some dude's rather lame "instructions" on sharpening lawnmower blades. That doesn't mean their catalog doesn't include rubbish, it just means that it's hard to find anything there... but one of our team members (the staff cycling enthusiast) stopped by with a list of terms, and sure enough – she found Skylar Woodward and his... somewhat lacking version of "How to Change Your Bike Chain."

Moen Shower Installation, the Dummy Way

Moen Shower Valve Parts

There's a joke about a lawyer and a plumber who meet at a block party. The lawyer's amazed at how much the plumber charges per hour, and says that he doesn't charge that much. The punch line goes something like, "Neither did I when I was a lawyer!" If you've ever done your own plumbing, you probably understand why plumbers charge so much (who else spends all that time up to his or her elbows in sewage?). Some people, though, think plumbers just play with Tinker Toys®; people like eHow's Dianne Christensen-Herman (Christensen-Hermance at some sites or sometimes just Hermance), who made her own little joke out of "How to Install Moen Shower Faucet"¹ at HomeSteady.com.

Barn Floors for Dummies

salvaged barnwood used for flooring

If the morning staff meeting runs long and the research staffers don't have time for an extensive web-surfing session to find a DotD candidate, they all keep a few names in their metaphorical pockets for just such an emergency. One such name is Lacy Enderson, who's already taken home fourteen awards from this website. Well, today makes fifteen (yesterday was hectic...), thanks to Lacy's typically useless instructions for "How to Build Wood Barn Floors,"¹ which she posted to good old eHow.com.

Normal Force for Dummy Physics Students

normal force diagram

Back in the bad old days when anyone with a pulse could rake in the bucks at a content farm, the most prolific contributors would pick some random topic and vomit out half a dozen articles at a time (many did this on two or more sites!). The hard work of writing, unfortunately, left precious little time for research and fact-checking, but accuracy and usefulness were never the point. Those days are gone, but some people still think they can make a go of it as a "freelancer," people like Grace Sanchez. Grace visited "The Magic of Natural Force" upon EzineArticles.com, and then apparently decided she wasn't making cash fast enough and disappeared...

Battery Compatibility, the Dummy Comparison

We don't think they're interchangeable, Breann. You?

As our researchers wander the net looking for utterly ridiculous claims, instructions, and misinformation; the same names seem to crop up again and again. If you took a look at our "Dumbasses Sorted by Name" pages you'd find some winners have been back almost twenty times! Others are only in that list once, but that might be because they are new discoveries; new discoveries like Breann Kanobi (no relation to Obi-Wan, we suspect), only discovered last week. Breann's back, however, to explain, in her uninformed way, "How to Use Dewalt Batteries in Black & Decker Power Tools" for that mother lode of misinformation, eHow.com – now niched at HomeSteady.com, but still uninformed...

Soundproofing for Dummies

Noise canceling wall along highway

Time and time again our research staff have run across self-appointed freelance writers; many counting on an English, "communications," or journalism degree to carry them through; who attempt to explain something outside their comfort zone and jut plain screw it up. Around the Antisocial Network office, we call this phenomenon the eHow effect. Today's DotD nominee is a perfect example: Jean Asta researched "How Do Noise Canceling Walls Work?"¹ and found reasonably good resources. Her problem was that she didn't understand them.

Bicycle Locks for Dummies

Stupid job of locking a bicycle to a post

Everyone here at Antisocial Network world HQ rides a bicycle from time to time -- it's pretty much a requirement to work here (and we pay so little most of the staff can't afford a car...). At one time or another, most of us have been the victim of a bicycle thief, which is probably why we were so unimpressed with the sadly lacking advice we found in "The Best Ways to Lock a Bike,"¹ which "communications major," fluent Spanish-speaker and experienced traveler Charlie Rainer Gaston posted on Trails.com. Based on her post, we suspect her last bicycle had a banana seat and pompoms on the handlebars...