Lapidary for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXIII

We usually hesitate to use words like "amusing" to describe the output of the more clueless freelancers we feature, but sometimes we simply have to admit it: the "work" some of  these people have performed leaves a lot to be desired. Take today's nominee, first-timer Jonita Davis (back when she was "Bylines by Jo). Wandering far outside the comfort zone of her English BA, Davis took on the somewhat ambiguous topic posed by the nice people at eHow.com, "How to Cut & Polish Stones" (it's now at Hunker.com). The result, unfortunately, was every bit as ambiguous as the topic...

Plexiglass Crafts for Dummies

Not made with a band saw

 It's bad enough to find one of those old eHow.com posts where the "contributors" (as the site called it's greed-sucking freelancers) misinterpreted the questions they were allegedly answering, but it's even worse when the "answer" contained misinformation. Unfortunately, that syndrome seemed to happen with startling regularity. One of the staffers turned up a new one not long ago, Esperance Barretto pretending to know "How to Carve Plexiglass" at the mother site.

DIY Glass Wind Chimes for Dummies

glass wind chimes

Sometimes our staffers swear that these posts write themselves. This is especially true when one of the freelancers claims to have gotten DIY plans from a source that, when checked, has abso-friggin'-lutely nothing to do with the subject at hand. One of the kids dug into the files and found this example a staffer had turned up years ago. Its Kelly Sundstrom, leaving her "blueprints" niche for the eHow.com post, "DIY Wind Chimes With Glass Bottles."

Odd-Shaped Frames for Dummies

DIY hexagons

The freelancers who infest content farms seem to be born politicians. Ever notice how, when you ask politicians questions they can't – or don't want to – answer, they pivot to the answer they want to give? Back in the bad old days, a lot of contributors to eHow.com did pretty much the same thing. Ask 'em a question they can't answer, and they answer a question that may be tangentially related that they can answer. Take, for example, Gina Samarotto and her SFGate.com post, "How to Frame Odd Shapes."

A Jewelry Box for the Ages, Dummies Style

Probably what they wanted, Chantel...

We don't know about everyone else, but around here when someone asks how to make a handcrafted item, no one says "Adapt some piece of junk you already have in your basement / attic / garage / mudroom." If the person wanted to know how to "adapt" something, we figure they'd say so. Apparently, not everyone agrees, especially when disagreeing with us is worth a few bucks from a content farm. That's why (and how) Chantel Alise told people "How to Make Your Own Jewelry Box"¹ at OurPastimes.com.

Flint Knapping for the Utterly Clueless

Shaping arrowhead with a bone tool

We frequently refer to the site formerly known as eHow.com as "the mother lode of misinformation" and are also quick to point out that this particular content farm is often the laughingstock of the do-it-yourself world. Why? Because, although the site purported to be explaining how to do something, the "instructions" were not always written¹ by someone familiar with the topic. Perhaps no post we've seen lately more clearly demonstrates such ignorance as "How to Make Homemade Arrowheads,"² written by Michael Cantrell and now at OurPastimes.com.

Log Crafts for Dummies

birch log vase

We've known a few crafty types over the years, and we're well aware that there's a whole universe of people who like rustic crafts. No one here is part of it, but that doesn't mean we can't respect them. What we don't respect is freelancers who try to make money off of botching instructions for their projects, freelancers like Ava Perez and her OurPastimes.com article "How to Make Birch Log Vases." We'd much rather hear how from someone who knows how to use the tools she describes...

Framing Your Art for Dummies

matting and framing artwork

The local newspaper (remember those?) has a daily column composed of short gripes and other comments from the readership; a section called "Let it Out." Not long ago, someone complained about employers requiring a college education, saying that there are "plenty of talented people who haven't gone to college." That's certainly true, although perhaps those employers are looking for something other than "talent." Whatever, today's DotD nominee has lots of college education, but Adam Cloe Ph.D./M.D. still lacked the "talent" to tell people, "How to Frame Art Yourself"¹ at OurPastimes.com.

Milk Crate Storage for Dummies

milk crate shelves

It's not uncommon for us to come across what seems to be a reasonable answer to a fairly random question and then, after thinking for a moment, realize that it's just plain wrong. If we were talking to friends or family, we might just politely point out the error, but when some freelancer published bogus information just to collect a few bucks, it kind chaps our collective hiney. That's how eHow.com contributor Racheal Ambrose and her post, "How to Hang Milk Crates Securely On a Wall," ended up on the nomination podium.

Doll House Lighting for Dummies

dollhouse lighting

As we looked over the past few days of the Antisocial Network posts, we notice that there's sort of a theme developing. Perhaps it's been there all along... anyway, what we've noticed is that many of the recent DotD awardees have been eHow.com contributors who didn't answer the question, either because they didn't understand it or because giving the right answer would be too hard (or maybe both). With that in mind, here's repeat offender Nichole Liandi, writing to the topic "How to Build an Electrical Circuit in a Model House,"¹ which has been slipped into Leaf Group's OurPastimes.com niche site.