Crawl-Space Storm Shelters Designed by Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCLXXXI

This is a storm shelter, Jennifer

Over the years of compiling this space, we've seen some pretty cockamamie ideas spring from the minds of greedy freelancers. It's bad enough when someone who doesn't know one end of a screwdriver from the other tries to teach people how to tune up a two-cycle engine or someone who lives in a college dorm "explains" how to build a deck, but when ignorant writers put people in danger? That's crossing a line. The line was crossed back in 2011 when eHow.com's Jennifer Dermody tried to tell the world "How to Build a Storm Shelter in a Crawl Space." That the powers that be at Leaf Group (the erstwhile Demand Media) have left this rubbish visible for over a decade speaks to the reason why eHow is the punchline of a search-engine joke.

Small Decks for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCLV

a small deck

One of the staffers was reviewing an old list of potential nominees we'd found at the mother lode of misinformation (eHow.com and its niche sites) when she ran across a strangely specific question that a previous awardee had "answered" for the site. In skimming the content, she realized that the author of the content, Steve Sloane, had two problems: first, he didn't understand the original question and second, he had no idea "How to Build an 8' X 4' Deck" – no matter how many words he pounded out (or more likely, reworded) for HomeSteady.com.

Door Headers for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCXXXV

Header framing terminology

Early on, the freelancers who plied their trade at content farms such as eHow.com and WiseGEEK.com (and the many others that left a stain on the internet's collective knowledge) found that by grabbing a slew of closely-related topics they could leverage their "research" into more bucks in a shorter time. Good for the, not so good for us if their accuracy was suspect... as it so often was. One such freelancer who picked (at least) two niches at wiseGEEK is S. E. Smith, later known as Mary McMahon. Mary's grasp of her chosen topics, however, has won her a shelf full of DotD awards; two of which are for framing carpentry. Mary's herein receiving a third nomination in the category, for the AboutMechanics.com post "What is a Door Header?"

Car Canopy Instructions for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCXXXI

car canopy

We don't know about you, but to us it goes without saying that when someone asks you a question like, say, "How to Build a Car Canopy," the operative word in that question is "build." Are we right? The person asking that question doesn't want to know how to buy a ready-made canopy or assemble one from a kit, the person wants to know such important information as materials, measurements, and the steps in constructing such an edifice. That's us (and probably most people), but is isn't eHow.com's Kimberly Dyke. That much is evident from her post, which can now be found at HomeSteady.com.

Building a Stage for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCXXIX

stage substructure

The oldest articles in the eHow.com universe were, regrettably, uploaded without external references, so you're never sure where these people got their "information." Of course, that's insignificant considering that the material was vetted by a staff of "content editors" who generally knew even less about the topic than the person who wrote it; a freelancer who often knew less about the topic than the person who originally asked "how do you...?" That's why the website ended up with rubbish like the post "How to Build a Stage for Concerts," a Nichole Liandi concoction that now lives in the niche site, OurPastimes.com.

Construction and Tools for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCXXVIII

tools for builders

An old adage would have it that if you ask a stupid question, you'll get a stupid answer. That may not necessarily be the case, though, because there are always people who are willing to generously share their knowledge even with garden-variety fools. On the other hand, there's eHow.com, where people who knew nothing often attempted to answer stupid questions, and their work was quite likely to support the old saw. Take, for instance, someone who wanted to know a "List of Tools Used in Construction": eHowian Timothy Sexton took it upon himself to create such a list... except he clearly had no idea what he was talking about in his post, which now lives at HomeSteady.com.

How a Dummy Frames a Window Header - The Freelance Files MMCLXXXV

header construction

You gotta love the "courage" of some of the folks we run across while looking for DotD nominees. We have no idea whether they're competent in the fields where they're trained, but it takes a special level of gall to pound out some of the stuff we see. Today, we're featuring a repeat offender from WiseGEEK.com, Malcolm Tatum, who pretended that he knew enough about framing and construction to tell his readers, "What is a Window Header?" (now at niche site InfoBloom.com). We're here to tell you he didn't know that much, which is why he got a lot of it wrong.

Before we look at what Tatum tried to say, we'll fill you in on what a window header actually is: Any header is a framing component that supports the load of the roof and any upper stories where there is an opening – i.e., door or window – in a stick-framed wall. Headers are generally constructed of a "sandwich" of wide dimensional lumber set on edge and supported at the ends by short studs called jack studs. See the image above...

That is, of course, not what Malcolm tried to tell people. No, in the same way that he managed to botch his discussions of joist spacing and drywall repair, Tatum took some useful information and added it to his own ignorance of his topic, which is where he came up with misinformation such as,

• "With a window header, the window frame will not have to bear any load after window installation." – While nominally true, that's not why an opening for a window has a header.
• "Window headers are supports found on the upper portion of the window casing." – No, they're found above the rough opening, not "on the upper portion of" the molding around a window.
• "Generally, the supports are at least twice as thick as the framing components found around the opening." – The stupidity of that "Generally" not withstanding, the width (not thickness) of a header must be calculated based on opening size, load, and other "considerations" (as eHowians would say).
• "A traditional window header will be located near two joists, rafters, or studs, depending on how the windows are placed." – "Near"? WTF, Mal?!
• "the window header also helps the overall structure to support and distribute the weight of the roof across the interior supporting walls as well as the exterior walls." – Uhhh, Malcolm? the idea is to transmit the load of the structure to the foundation; not the walls.

• "It is not unusual for a window header to be replaced during part of a home improvement renovation." – Says who? Only if the renovation entails a larger opening, Mal.
• "This is especially true when new window casings are inserted as part of the renovation project." – What's Tatum's fascination with casings, anyway?

Tatum never managed to spit out any useful information about framing a header; not mentioning the king, jack, and cripple studs or giving any insight into how a header is constructed. We think all his errors and his omissions are a perfect reason to give Tatum the Dumbass of the Day award – his eighth trip to the stage. Go, Mal, go! and don't come back...

DDIY - FRAMING

Sealing a Doorway for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCLIX

The business model of the former eHow.com was simple: pay people to answer questions scraped from search engines. The plan was intriguing, but the execution was horrendous: far too many of the so-called "answers" were nothing more than bald-faced attempts to reword something the eHow contributor didn't understand. It's often pretty easy to identify the work of the guilty parties if you have even an inkling of that the answer should be. One of our staffers caught eHowian Carson Barrett early on in his attempt to explain, "How to Fill in a Doorway With Drywall" for SFGate.com.

PVC Gazebo Plans for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCL

Should've stuck with a canopy, Jane

 Let's say you actually did want to build a gazebo out of PVC pipe: either you'd already be fairly familiar with using PVC or you would need a lot of help. Help? you know, information on how PVC fittings work and how to choose the correct fittings; information about the structural strength of PVC; tips on the size of the PVC pipes needed to build a sturdy structure that wouldn't look spindly... You'd certainly need more information than "just stick some poles in the ground and shove a commercial 'gazebo cover' over them." That model, however, is precisely what eHow.com's "Jane Smith" wrote in the HomeSteady.com post, "How to Make a PVC Gazebo." Yeah, sure...

A Hot Tub Enclosure for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXXXVIII

hot-tub enclosure

Few freelancers are more irksome to our Antisocial Network Staff than the ones who repeat the same tired posts multiple times in a sorry attempt to collect more pennies. It's much, much worse, however, if the original was utter crap to begin with. Which brings us to today's nominee, an eHow.com "contributor" (that's what they called them back in the day) we'd already caught once, pounding out truly worthless instructions for a "cheap" gazebo. Let's welcome back Heidi Cardenas, whose "Cheap Way to Build Enclosure for a Hot Tub" somehow ended up at Synonym.com.

Batter Boards for Dummies, Redux - The Freelance Files MMCXXXVI

squaring a layout

Unlike a lot of freelancers out there, our staff does due diligence in researching the topics "covered" (and we use the term loosely) by our nominees. Whether we feel expert or not, we research the topics to see if, perhaps, a freelancer stumbled over an alternative, yet still acceptable, method for how-to posts. When we were looking for possible sources of the misinformation in yesterday's post about batter boards, we found similarly clueless twaddle at another content farm (which predates the work of Nichole Liandi). Let's have a look at how Colleen McKie also got it wrong in her DoItYourself.com post, "How to Build Batter Boards" without, we might add, any improvement from "review" by Gabriel Connor Salter.

Batter Boards for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXXXV

use of batter boards

Every summer, thousands of homeowners decide it's time to build their first deck; and every summer thousands of first-time DIYers research the methods involved. We always hope that those poor schmucks end up finding the help they need from someone who's actually built a deck, preferably a lot of decks; but the sad truth is that if they aren't careful they're gonna end up at eHow.com or one of the niches where eHow's rubbish goes to die. Today, we'll look at the kind of advice freelancers with history degrees; freelancers who likely have never built a deck, can offer: meet Nichole Liandi and her HomeSteady.com post, "How to Use Batter Boards to Square Corner Posts for Deck." And then go look for advice from someone who knows what they're talking about...

Building a Stable Pergola for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXXXIV

stakes to keep posts plumb

In the bad old days of content farms, just about anyone who was even marginally literate could hang out a shingle and pretend to know enough about a topic to write instructions for sites like DIY.com and, especially, eHow.com. We wouldn't be the first to tell you this, but an awful lot of the content on such sites isn't worth the electrons it's printed on. We regularly point out some of the worst dross here, often drawn from the niche sites into which the owner of eHow (Leaf Group) dumps their old content. That includes content like today's nominee, a GargdenGuides. com post entitled "How to Stabilize a Pergola" by one Mary Lougee. 

Vertical Louvered Fences for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXVI

louver spacing in fence

When the nice people at Leaf Group ported much of the historical eHow.com content to new niches, they often failed to transfer such "frills" as materials lists and references. That's a shame, because – if the "contributor" wasn't simply faking it (which they often were) – it was possible to backtrack to a reference that didn't include the dumbassery inherent in some freelancer's utter ignorance of the topic of the psot. Speaking of ignorance, however, let's get to today's nominee: multiple award-winner Michael Straessle is back, trying to explain to Hunker.com readers "How to Build a Vertical Louvered Privacy Fence."

Garage Door DIY for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXII

homemade garage doors

The fine folks at eHow.com (now a division of Leaf Group) have long been kind enough to include a short bio of their contributors so that readers are aware of their expertise. It's interesting, however, to note that the vast majority of the site's content was written by people who claimed no expertise whatsoever in the topic at hand. Just today, we found an eHowian whose bio said that she had not only a Juris Doctor, but also "degrees in economics and business and teaching." Yeah, well, none of that massive pile of degrees appears to have prepared Samantha Kemp to tell us how to make an "Inexpensive DIY Garage Door"

Jack Rafters for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCVII

 

jack rafters, hip roof

In the "glory days" of content farms, especially those that like eHow.com handed freelancers lists of topics to address, it was common for some people to "stake out a topic" and write as many posts as possible on the subject. If those writers had possessed some expertise, we guess, that would have been fine. Unfortunately, many of them were like eHow's Alexander Callos, who pretended to be an expert on building roofs. Unless he spent summers on a construction crew between years in J-school, however, Callos knew little or nothing about such topics as "How to Cut Jack Rafters"; one of his posts now living at HomeSteady.com. 

Balcony Construction for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCI

cantilevered balcony joists

It never ceases to amaze us that many of the freelancers at the former eHow.com (now a collection of niche sites under the Leaf Group umbrella) would begin to answer a question by defining even the most basic terms. For instance, we've seen many an eHowian open a post about, say, changing the tires on a 1988 Toyota Tacoma¹ by warbling that "The 1988 Tacoma is a truck built by the Toyota Corporation of Japan in 1988." Duh. And yet some of them were so careless that they never bothered to look up the definition of something they were allegedly explaining. The latter group includes one Will Gish, who failed miserably to explain, "How Is a Balcony Built?" for the mother site.

Subfloor Calculation for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMXCVIII

Subfloor construction

For some reason, some of the most straightforward questions addressed by the "contributors" at the former eHow.com could bring out the... abject stupidity inherent in those freelancers' ignorance of their topic. We ran across one of those just today; a repeat DotD by the name of David Robinson (based on his bio, he was not the former San Antonio Spurs center). Robinson clearly demonstrated his ignorance of building construction in the Hunker.com post, "How to Calculate How Much Plywood You Need for a Floor."

Roof Modification for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMLXXXVII

Roof add-on intersection

If the term "content farm" leaves a bad taste in your mouth, there's a good chance you have at one time or another found yourself burned by the freelance hacks who infested sites like eHow.com a decade or so ago. Out-of-work English majors and journalism ("communications") grads pounded out verbiage for the site at a frantic pace, contributing mightily to what we call the stupidifcation of the internet. One such self-appointed freelancer was Ciele Edwards, who took a few minutes away from her list of credit-card posts to pretend she knew enough to address the topic of "How to Connect a Porch Roof Onto Your Existing Roof" at HomeSteady.com... even though she clearly didn't.

Deck Footing Spacing for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMLXXXV

A footing for every post

It's a little thing, to be sure, but the bogosity contained in those little bios freelancers dump at sites like Hunker.com can be a major peeve – almost a pet in some cases – for staffers looking through their work. A case in point is today's DotD nominee, a returning DotD named Gia Miller. Gia's bio claims, and we quote, that "She then spent several years at Elle DECOR [sic] magazine where she immersed herself in the world of interior design. Several apartments and homes later, she’s now mastered the art of DIY." The staffer who found that was confused: since when is interior design a form of DIY? Based on Miller's puny rewrite of the Hunker.com post, "Proper Spacing for Deck Footings," no one here thinks she'd mastered deck-building... at all.