Monday, April 30, 2018

Bottled Water for Health-Nut Dummies

different brands of bottled water bottles
Different brands of bottled water bottles
If there's anything that rubs our in-house scientists the wrong way, it has to be bloggers who spread health-related rumors on the 'net in hopes of lining their pockets. You know the ones: today they're touting diet X23, but their posts from six months ago were all about how diet Y9 has helped them lose six thousand pounds in twenty minutes. Unfortunately, Demand Media gave some of them a forum for spreading their misinformation in return for small chunks of cash; that's where eHowian Megan Clancy tried to tell people "What Is the Healthiest Bottled Water?" (now¹ found at AzCentral.com).

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Oil Patch Salaries for Dummies

drilling rig, pickup for scale
If that's one of the largest structures in
the world, those must be BIG pickups!
A friend, who for a while attempted to educate the clueless about how the oil industry works; bemoans the fact that whenever people think of drilling for oil, those giant offshore platforms come to mind. Oh, yeah, and too many people think those are "oil rigs," the clueless fools. People who are clueless about the oil industry happens to be the subject of today's DotD nominee, buzzword aficionado Bridgette Austin, and the rubbish she posted at BizFluent.com under the title "Oil Rig Jobs & Salaries."

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Basalt for the Dummy Earth Science Student

devils postpile columnar basalts
Columnar basalt at Devil's Postpile
We're not sure just what it is that keeps our staffers going back to posts about geology in the former eHow.com niches. It might be that the oldest posts are attributed to some "eHow Hobbies, Games & Toys Editor" (now known only as "Contributor" at sites like Sciencing.com). It's weird that the site's content editors demanded the Oxford comma in writing, but the designers didn't use it in titles... whatever the case, today's DotD labored mightily to explain "How to Identify Basalt." The only problems was that whoever wrote this dreck did a lousy job of plagiarism...

Friday, April 27, 2018

Homemade Fence Posts for Dummies

fence with pine log posts
fence with pine log posts
Truth be told, sometimes we simply cannot understand why the OQ¹ even bothered to ask some of the questions freelancers at eHow answered (or attempted to answer). We haven't run across any about butt plugs yet... but we did find one recently that borders on the totally doofus. Nevertheless, sometime forklift driver and painter (with a "communications" degree, of course) Cody Sorensen was more than happy to tackle "How to Make Fence Posts Out of Pine Trees."

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Vegetables for Dummies

fruits and vegetables
Ummm, Puty? some of
those are fruits
We don't stop by WritEdge.com very often, probably because the pages of the site are so plastered with advertising, popups, and pop-unders that it might as well be a porn site (or so we're told...). When checking old posts not long ago, however, we ran across an admirably dumbass post by one putyliz that put us in mind of the WritEdgians. We checked on Liz (real name perhaps Purity Wamalwa), and found her worthy of another award. This time, it's for "Facts on Vegetables you need to Know."¹

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Opals for Dummies

low-quality synthetic opal
low-quality fake opal
Everyone's heard of the Turing test, right? Can you tell whether the entity you're corresponding with is human or artificial? Yeah, that one. Of course, parrots can communicate, too... but no one gives them a Turing test, because we already know they aren't human. Likewise, English majors who attempt to parrot scientific facts flunk their own sort of Turing test... just like eHow.com's Michael Adkins¹ failed miserably in his Sciencing.com article, "How Are Opals Made?"

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Shingles for Dummies

A roof vent must be nailed in place
nailing a roof vent
If the staff of the Antisocial network were the type of people to be driven nuts; freelancers who do little more than copy, reword, and paste someone else's work would rank tight at the top of the nuts-drivers. They're easy enough to spot, of course, if you're already familiar (even a little bit) with the topic they've cribbed. One of our staffers has done a little roofing, which is why he was pretty sure that LoveToKnow.com's Beth Asaff hadn't – at least based on the article she posted, "How to Shingle a Roof."

Monday, April 23, 2018

Roof Rakes for Homeowning Dummies

Roofing terminology, including rake
Roofing terminology, including rake
It's not unusual for one of our staffers to run across freelance content that trips a little alarm somewhere deep in their minds. That's especially likely when they find a content-farm post written well outside the areas of expertise of the freelancer in question. Today's DotD nominee is precisely that: based on her bio at HomeSteady.com, Bridgette Austin is an accomplished buzzword-user, but it's also clear that she knew nothing about a "Roof Rake Definition"¹ before googling it. Our staffer, on the other hand, did...

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Knockout Plugs for the Dummy DIY Plumber

garbage disposal and knockout plug
When it comes to explaining the "why" of a set of "how-to" instructions, we occasionally run across some pretty doofus reasons for performing a task. Some of the worst are in automotive repairs, but they're scattered all across the universe of DIY projects. Today's explanation, about "How to Remove the Knockout Plug in a Garbage Disposal" is one such case. Sit back and observe as Hunker.com contributor Steffani Cameron explained what she thought might be the reason for doing so to a while back

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Density and Temperature for the Dummy Chemist

density vs temperature graph for water
Density vs. temperature graph for water
Look back over the thousand-plus entries in this blog, and it's a safe bet that you'll find hundreds of places where we've bemoaned the scientific illiteracy of liberal arts majors attempting to freelance about STEM topics. Maybe thousands of places... In a lot of cases, we've let potential DotD candidates slide because, like the proverbial blind pig and its acorn, they've stumbled over the right answer. Sometimes, though, the journey to the answer is every bit as telling as the answer itself. That was sure what caught our eye in "How to Calculate Densities at Various Temperatures," posted to Sciencing.com by Athena Hessong.

Friday, April 20, 2018

The Acceleration of Gravity for Physics Dummies

ball and ramp experiment
Although our scientifically-literate staffers are constantly irked by the half-baked copy-reword-paste jobs performed by journalism and creative writers "explaining" science, scientific illiteracy coming from people who claim to be scientists is even more irritating. That's why we're pleased to be able to present today's DotD award to an eHow.com contributor who claims to be studying physics. Were that the case, though, Lee Johnson would likely have done a better job of describing "Science Project: The Effect of Mass on the Distance a Ball Travels"¹ for Sciencing.com.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Borax for Dummies

Borax crystals
Borax crystals in the wild
We admit that there are some journalists and "communicators" who either have an innate understanding of science or work hard to get it right even if they don't understand it. They're the ones who manage to get jobs as science reporters or who publish well-researched books on scientific topics. On the other hand, there are those who know jack about science but are greedy enough to pretend they know what they're talking about. To that second group, we once again add the name Brenda Priddy, at least on the basis of her little post "How to Make Borax Powder"¹ at Sciencing.com

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Pump Jacks for Dummies

A pump jack in the wild
pump jack
It's been a while since we woke up the staff petroleum geologist and handed him a DotD nominee to review. there's a reason for that: he gets pretty bitchy about the abject stupidity of most people when it comes to the science of petroleum exploration and production. Nevertheless, we risked his wrath today to get his thoughts about the Sciencing.com post "How Does an Oil Pump Jack Work," written by one Keith Dooley. Our geologist was not amused...

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Router Bits, the Dummies Version

common router bit profiles
You might think that someone who claims to be "accredited" in the building industry would have a working knowledge of the tools and techniques of the construction trade. Then again, you probably know all about resume inflation, right? When we saw one such self-described professional had written "How to Use Different Router Bits"¹ for Leaf Group niche site HomeSteady.com, we figured Emily Beach had some idea of what she was talking about. We were wrong...

Monday, April 16, 2018

Brake Valves for Dummy Mechanics

adjustable brake proportioning valve (no reset button)
An adjustable brake proportioning valve
We have a lot of DIY types on staff. Several have worked on their vehicles – doing oil changes and tuneups; replacing water pumps, alternators, distributors; one has even done some brake work. But not a one of them would ever let the likes of Dianne Hermance (aka Dianne Christensen-Hermance) anywhere near their brakes. That's because the team members read through what she told people at eHow.com (and then ItStillRuns.com) about "How to Reset a Brake Proportioning Valve."

Sunday, April 15, 2018

The Dummy Version of Density

displacement method for measuring volume
displacement method of measuring volume
There is such a thing as a science journalist: television networks and (some) newspapers have a few. As far as we can tell here at the Antisocial Network, though, most people who consider themselves freelance journalists have only a passing familiarity with even the most basic science. Once of the key talents of true science reporters is an ability to get across scientific principles in language people who lack a science background can understand. Some have that talent, most don't: take, for example, Keren (Carrie) Perles, who showed that she didn't in "How to Determine Density" for Sciencing.com.

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Volcanism for the Geological Dummy

eruption of melted rock (lava) from a volcano
eruption of melted rock (lava) from a volcano
From time to time we let the Antisocial Network's staff geologist out to see what dumbassery he can find about some of the most well-known events in the earth sciences. Many of the freelancers he catches are babbling incoherently about earthquakes, some blather about oil or mining, and quite a few think they can "educate" their readers about volcanoes. Landing squarely in group three, then, we find Catalogs.com "guru" George Garza and his monumentally doofus article, "What Makes a Volcano Erupt?" (now credited to "catalogs editorial staff").

Friday, April 13, 2018

Table Saw Reviews by Dummies

Bosch 4100-09 Table Saw
Bosch 4100-09 Table Saw
      A couple of our staffers here at the Antisocial Network came on board not long after review site Epinions.com bit the dust. By itself, that fact probably doesn't mean much, but in the context of recognizing fake product reviews,may not have realized it, one of Epinions' problems was the proliferation of fake reviews, especially of expensive stuff – as the locals often said, "Anything with a cord." Recognizing a fake review is actually easy: there is no personal experience and few, if any, facts that don't come from the manufacturer's specs. Today's DotD nominee, Mary F., pumped out a slew of such reviews for Wizzley.com back in 2012, including "Bosch 4100-09 10-Inch Worksite Table Saw with Gravity-Rise Stand Review."

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Cabinet Door Styles for Dummies

full overlay cabinet doors and drawers
full overlay cabinet doors and drawers
In their daily internet surfing, our staffers run across many freelancers who clearly don't have the foggiest notion what it is they're writing about. Not long ago, a staffer brought another post written by eHow's Christine Lebednik (already a four-time DotD) to the nominating committee's attention: it won the prize. In the case of her eHow post "What Are Flush-Overlay Cabinet Doors?" our winner quickly made it clear that she was making it up as she went along.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Insurance Deductibles for Dummies

An explanation of benefits including the notice that "this is not a bill."
Insurance explanation of benefits: note the circled phrase.
One of our warmer, fuzzier staffers has been known to say that there are no stupid questions, but even she was taken aback by the utterly ridiculous question expressed by someone in today's nominee. Although we tend to give credit where credit is due, there is no way we (without access to NSA records) could find out who originally asked "How to Meet a Health Insurance Deductible." On the other hand, we do know that Kendra Dahlstrom tried to answer it for AZCentral.com. That's one of the sites that bought content from Demand Media, which is why the post showed up in a site:eHow search...

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Making Your Own Cricket Bat for Dummies

cricket bat and ball
cricket bat and ball
It's not unusual for us to run across posts, especially those that originate in the eHow.com family of niche websites, where a freelancer attempts to answer a question that just plain resists explanation. We've already seen a few, such as how do you build a bicycle, how do you make an arrow, and even how do you make a hockey stick. Someone familiar with the object of the question would realize that the OQ wants to know the manufacturing process for a bike, an arrow, a hockey stick. But a freelancer who wants the cash? Someone like SportsRec.com's Joanne Robitaille is perfectly happy to tell you "How to Make a Cricket Bat at Home."

Monday, April 9, 2018

Soil, Volume, and Weight for Dummies

truckload of topsoil
A truckload of topsoil
It's pretty much an article of faith around the Antisocial Network conference table that if you say that a measurement – of anything – depends on an external factor, the measurement doesn't have an exact value. Say someone asks, "What's the speed of a fastball?" Obviously, the speed depends on the skill level and (to some extent) the age of the pitcher; so a blithe answer of "97 MPH" just won't cut it, especially if whoever answers the question does not introduce the answer by saying, "The speed depends on the skill level and (to some extent) the age of the pitcher"! Yet that's exactly what GardenGuides.com freelancer Lisa Larsen did when answering the question, "How Many Pounds of Topsoil in a Yard?"¹

Sunday, April 8, 2018

Pocket Doors for Dummies

Pocket Door Kit
Pocket door
Our founder lived for several years in a gorgeous old Queen Anne farmhouse originally built in 1895. The biggest downside of the place was the wind whistling though the walls in winter; the upside was the sort of craftsmanship you no longer see in today's mass-produced tract houses. The main room on the ground floor (the parlor) had, believe it or not, three sets of pocket doors leading into adjacent rooms. We suspect that room alone featured three more pocket doors than freelancer Tracey Kelley had ever seen up close when she penned "Installing a Pocket Door" for LovetoKnow.com.¹

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Algebra for Self-Appointed Dummies

simple algebra equations
Yup: this is algebra...
One of the Antisocial Network staffers was spending a few minutes on Facebook the other day when she ran across a post by a friend – probably spurred by one of those moronic meme-makers – about "What Is the Most Useless Class in School." The original poster opined that it was algebra, and a lot of his friends agreed (probably more than half). Our staffer was most amused, however, by a pair of posters (both 50-something women, for what little that's worth) who boldly stated that 1) they didn't do numbers and 2) algebra is stupid. A third commenter attempted to pull them back from the brink of innumeracy... the names (and some of the wording) have been changed to protect the guilty:

Friday, April 6, 2018

pH Levels for Chemistry Dummies

the pH scale
Every one in a while we run across a nicely-polished bit of freelancery that appears, on the surface at least, to be a well-done job of rewording something authoritative. Closer inspection, however, will reveal the cracks below the surface... one of the most frequent deficiencies of an otherwise serviceable copy-reword-paste job is that the writer depended on a single source, or sources of limited scope. For instance, we once found a pine tree ID guide that reworded a biology lab exercise for identifying the trees on a single college campus. Today's nominee does pretty much the same: she's Cassandra Tribe, writing for Sciencing.com on the topic of "What Variables Affect pH Levels?"

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Flagstone, the Clueless Version

slate flagstones
These flagstones are slate, not sandstone
For some reason that no one here at the Antisocial network understands, a surprising number of self-appointed freelancers seem to be confused by the difference between the specific and the general. It happens a lot when people start writing about topics they aren't familiar with, especially if the topic is even the least bit "technical." Take today's DotD nominee, for example: Sharon Bellissimo of EzineArticles.com decided to share her own "Facts about Flagstone" with her readers. Too bad she didn't know anything before she started...

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

DIY Doggy Doors, the Dummies Version

a homemade doggy door
An actual homemade doggy door
We don't know about everyone else, but we keep seeing these ads about "essential skills" everyone's grandpa had. We sure as heck aren't gonna touch that clickbait, but we certainly hope that one of those so-called skills was some form of logic. Yesterday, we featured some idiot who wanted you to dissolve Epsom salt in water and then let it evaporate to make your own Epsom salt; and today's DotD is just about the same brand of fool. Meet Simon Thomas, whose post "A Homemade Doggy Door"¹ appears at TheNest.com (though it started its life at eHow.com...).

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Making Epsom Salts the Dummies Way

Epsom salt in 5-kg bucket
Anybody remember "transactional analysis"? The self-help system went into all this "what you said, what I heard, what you thought you said, what I think I heard..." stuff in an effort to improve communications. We call that "listening" these days, but whatever. Anyway, today we have some anonymous person asking Healthfully.com "How to Make Epsom Salt,"¹ and a freelancer thinking someone wanted to make a powder of MgSO4(H2O)x where, in reality, it's a safe bet that the OQ wanted to know how to make an Epsom salt bath. But Enzo Silvestri wasn't having any of that...

Monday, April 2, 2018

Geological Forces for Dummies

reverse fault diagram
Reverse fault diagram
It's been a few months since we skewered anyone at HubPages.com, so we sent an intern in to crawl the citations file for a suitable candidate. She came back with a pile, but we didn't have to dig any deeper than the reference slip on the top of that pile. Even though our staff geologist was still recovering from yesterday's post, we figured he wouldn't have any problems dispatching Kenneth C. Agudo and his opus, "Earth Science: Geological Forces that Gives Life to Earth." [NOTE: given that English isn't Agudo's native language, we'll maintain a focus on factual matters instead of grammatical errors.]

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Fossil Identification for a Paleontology Dummy

crinoid anatomy
Crinoid anatomy
Now that we've dipped our collective toe into the rich waters of WiseGEEK.com for the site's special week, we're back to surfing the 'net in search of garden-variety dumbassery from freelancers everywhere. Well, not so much everywhere: as rich a vein of fake expertise as WiseGEEK proved to be, the many niche sites that have received the goods from eHow.com are... even better. So, it's back to the Leaf Group (formerly Demand Media Studios) for today's nominee, one Megan Shoop of Sciencing.com and her monumentally illiterate take on "Large Fossilized Sea Shell Identification."